Expectations~Truths vs. Lies

Whew.
Again, a Season ending and a new Season beginning. And the word God has kept showing me during this Season is 'Expectations.'

Just sittin here in this moment, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead my fingers, tears are beginning to well up in my eyes.

My heavens, I'm such a silly girl. Much like a Princess learning to be a 'true Daughter of God.' I have to confess, this Season has been one of the most painful and understandably so, it's the one I think I've grown the most.

God has continued to place me in situations that while I didn't think 'I' could get through, he has reminded me-that's right-I can't, but He will be there every step of the way.

The First 'Expectation' of truth and lies I've learned involves me getting Re-married. I like many, thought Re-Marriage was gonna solve all my problems. Not all-but because I met my Husband in church and we both read the One Year Bible at the beginning of each day, I thought this meant we were 'problem free.' Right? We go to church and are 'equally yoked' so surely everything is gonna be perfect? Lie. The truth I've learned is God provided/ placed a Man in my life for His purpose and plan-not mine. So-reality is as you've read, there have been many times we have had our struggles-today I know more than ever how great God's grace really is as 'those struggles' have actually brought us closer together.

The next 'Expectation' involves this 'new place' I'm living. Yes-it has allowed me to be closer to my Daughter's-PRAISE GOD! However, this too seems part of God's plan to teach me many things-the most important-forgiveness. At the beginning of August, I posted about my car being stolen. Well-blah. The car is back, completely repaired, actually runs like new! (It's for sale as well-let me know if you would like to buy it?) 2 weeks ago, I rec'd a call. They had charged a 16 yr old kid with stealing it and I could be present at the hearing to speak-see-meet what I considered at the time the 'punk kid' who caused me so much pain and suffering. Many cautioned me against going. However, something in me, said go. I went. Gosh-God is so amazing. I sensed immediately the amount of anger and frustration with this kid and a couple others. kept hearing the song, "He Loves Us Oh How he Loves Us...!" At this moment, my heart was breaking. I wanted to go up and speak to the couple Dad's to tell them about God's grace. I didn't because I didn't know the 'rules.' What I really wished is that I had a Blessed Assurance bus. card or better yet a couple One Year Bible's to give-again-didn't. Actually-you know the truth here-there was no 'I' in this moment-I honestly believe it was God showing me what He wanted me to do. Anyways-it was my kid's turn for his hearing. It only took a couple questions from the judge to the kid, for me to begin to tear up. The 'punk kid' was just another 'sweet son of God' who was a victim of divorce. He was brought to Texas to live with his Dad, but told the judge as he teared how much he wanted to be back home in California and how much he missed His Mother. I heard clearly what I sensed and why I was there. The judge allowed me to speak. I told the kid it was wrong to take out his anger and frustration on me, another Mother, how much pain He had caused me-another Mother, but most important, A Mother's Love never ends and if it took Him to steal my car to be able to go back to live with His Mother-I'm grateful. He then had the opportunity to tell me he was sorry and He did as he teared. At that point, saw God's hand in this-prayed to move on.

Last Friday, I rec'd notice they've charged another kid. (There were 5, but not all will be charged.) This time, I pray to extend the same forgiveness. This time, it will be alittle harder because I think this is the kid who ditched my Daughter's baby books and the other things really special to me. However-this time, I have asked to be more involved in the sentencing. I plan to ask for Restitution(the other kid was ordered to pay me a small amount), but I'm also praying to ask the Judge for me to give the kid a One Year Bible which he will be required to read during His probation.

The next 'Expectation' I'm feeling led to share involves my church. Please hear my heart and hear the truth and the lies with this. I've shared how special my church has been to me. It has been a true 'gateway' to where God is taking me. The lie about this is, I thought it would be the 'save all' church. I've shared with almost every Leader, really anyone I can about the value of the One Year Bible to any New Believer or anyone who is at 'that moment' in time when something happens and there is nothing else to turn to. Again, hear my heart of sweetness and know how I've prayed to let go of all bitterness. It's been really tough. This is a church that is all about people. The lie I've listened too is, 'Why aren't they about me?'

A couple months ago, my Husband began telling me, he felt it was time for us to visit other churches. I didn't tell him, but I was alittle bothered. Remember 'this' is the church that's gonna get me somewhere. Well-we've been visiting a new church in the area that focuses on healing. The past 3 weeks have been amazing. This past weekend, I practiced something new for me. I had planned to attend a Woman's event Saturday. That morning, God said, 'Remember-no Expectations.' When I walked in the door to register, they said-we have a couple FREE spots. You don't have pay. I grinned and told them I was visiting and Thank you so much. Next, I went to sign-in. The Lady there said 'Welcome Home.' That in itself sent chills and was such sweet confirmation as I had been hearing about God's perfect order- a Heavenly Home, A Church Home and a Home to live in. I knew my Heavenly Home was in tact, had been praying for a Church Home for my Husband and I and continue to pray for the Home to live in. Wow. Then, as I was standing in line, met a Lady who was very God appointed. She came back in a few minutes to tell me she saved a spot for me at her table. Yup-the table was in the front row-only God knew me and my love for being part of the 'front row club.'

The last 'Expectation' I will share is about our beautiful country-The Land of the Free where it is IN GOD WE TRUST~AMERICA! This one hurts. WE as a nation have done a really good job of letting go of our Freedom and a really better job of taking God out of every aspect of our lives: our jobs, DC and public schools. WE have done this. You might say as well as I've been guilty of the same, that I didn't vote for this or that. Guess what-you did. The fact that WE are where we are with this 'separation between Church and State' is a complete cop out. I'm not overly involved with the 'Wake Up America' group as I don't do very well following in other's than God. I too without knowing it, 'Expected' much of the past President and the same of the future. The problem is, I haven't done anything about it but sit back. I believe there will be a time and place for me to make a difference in this great country....not sure when, what situation-that's up to God.

Today~I woke up with a new 'Expectation.' NONE. As I complete this blog, I feel the sweet presence of God. My only 'Expectation' is in Him. There is a freshness in this new season. Fresh smells, fresh people, fresh opportunities....as you know...Trusting Go for All!