What if....?

It's been a while since my last blog as I have been experiencing many 'What if's' in my own personal journey:

What if you moved to a new place and your spouse decided to stay at the old place?

What if you checked your voice mail only to find your Dad had a heart attack-the one they call 'the Widow maker?'

What if you woke up one day and walked outside to find your car had been stolen?

What if that same week your nephew had died of substance related stuff?

What if you realized someone very close to you suffered an addiction and it was you who offered the glass of wine that 're-triggered' the addiction?

What if you woke up to the call that your step-daughter had a life threatening head injury that almost took her life?

What if the new place you moved allowed you to 'take back your cross' and know Jesus as Lord and God is your ultimate provider and He is ALL you need?

What if the heart attack your Dad suffered allowed him to recognize the Blessing of Life and know he got 'a second chance at Life!'

What if the car that was stolen was the event that allowed you to achieve the title of 'Chaplain' when the world said it couldn't be done?

What if the death of your nephew began to help many trying different substances to recognize the danger and choose life?

What if the addiction you found out that someone very close to you suffered allowed you to practice and really offer true unconditional Love?

What if your step daughter suffered a life threatening head injury and was about to walk out of the Hospital completely healed?

This my friends has been my journey since May of this year. As it is written in John 10:10-The enemy comes to steal kill and destroy, but I have come that you would have Life in Abundance!

I share this with you today hoping~praying you know the only way I've been able to make it thru this very difficult season is with the word of God by reading the One Year Bible. If you are reading this, I know some of you are not in favor of a daily reading program like a One Year Bible. I just finished watching a TV program with my Pastor Robert Morris and James Robison of Life Today. It was about 'Being Set Free' and the only way to do this is with God's word. I know this as it was 2005 I began my journey of being 'Set Free' with God's Word using the One Year Bible. It was and is somewhat of a discipleship program of which I now believe is the Mission of the Vision God gave me in 2007.

Again, if you are reading this it is quite possibly by accident or maybe I linked this to you via 'twitter' as I am praying with much passion that together we can make a difference in our homes, cities, states and the world with helping more people get 'Set Free' by reading God's word with the One Year Bible!

And yes....I do agree, Free people help people get set free....as you know Trusting God for All!

Expectations~Truths vs. Lies

Whew.
Again, a Season ending and a new Season beginning. And the word God has kept showing me during this Season is 'Expectations.'

Just sittin here in this moment, allowing the Holy Spirit to lead my fingers, tears are beginning to well up in my eyes.

My heavens, I'm such a silly girl. Much like a Princess learning to be a 'true Daughter of God.' I have to confess, this Season has been one of the most painful and understandably so, it's the one I think I've grown the most.

God has continued to place me in situations that while I didn't think 'I' could get through, he has reminded me-that's right-I can't, but He will be there every step of the way.

The First 'Expectation' of truth and lies I've learned involves me getting Re-married. I like many, thought Re-Marriage was gonna solve all my problems. Not all-but because I met my Husband in church and we both read the One Year Bible at the beginning of each day, I thought this meant we were 'problem free.' Right? We go to church and are 'equally yoked' so surely everything is gonna be perfect? Lie. The truth I've learned is God provided/ placed a Man in my life for His purpose and plan-not mine. So-reality is as you've read, there have been many times we have had our struggles-today I know more than ever how great God's grace really is as 'those struggles' have actually brought us closer together.

The next 'Expectation' involves this 'new place' I'm living. Yes-it has allowed me to be closer to my Daughter's-PRAISE GOD! However, this too seems part of God's plan to teach me many things-the most important-forgiveness. At the beginning of August, I posted about my car being stolen. Well-blah. The car is back, completely repaired, actually runs like new! (It's for sale as well-let me know if you would like to buy it?) 2 weeks ago, I rec'd a call. They had charged a 16 yr old kid with stealing it and I could be present at the hearing to speak-see-meet what I considered at the time the 'punk kid' who caused me so much pain and suffering. Many cautioned me against going. However, something in me, said go. I went. Gosh-God is so amazing. I sensed immediately the amount of anger and frustration with this kid and a couple others. kept hearing the song, "He Loves Us Oh How he Loves Us...!" At this moment, my heart was breaking. I wanted to go up and speak to the couple Dad's to tell them about God's grace. I didn't because I didn't know the 'rules.' What I really wished is that I had a Blessed Assurance bus. card or better yet a couple One Year Bible's to give-again-didn't. Actually-you know the truth here-there was no 'I' in this moment-I honestly believe it was God showing me what He wanted me to do. Anyways-it was my kid's turn for his hearing. It only took a couple questions from the judge to the kid, for me to begin to tear up. The 'punk kid' was just another 'sweet son of God' who was a victim of divorce. He was brought to Texas to live with his Dad, but told the judge as he teared how much he wanted to be back home in California and how much he missed His Mother. I heard clearly what I sensed and why I was there. The judge allowed me to speak. I told the kid it was wrong to take out his anger and frustration on me, another Mother, how much pain He had caused me-another Mother, but most important, A Mother's Love never ends and if it took Him to steal my car to be able to go back to live with His Mother-I'm grateful. He then had the opportunity to tell me he was sorry and He did as he teared. At that point, saw God's hand in this-prayed to move on.

Last Friday, I rec'd notice they've charged another kid. (There were 5, but not all will be charged.) This time, I pray to extend the same forgiveness. This time, it will be alittle harder because I think this is the kid who ditched my Daughter's baby books and the other things really special to me. However-this time, I have asked to be more involved in the sentencing. I plan to ask for Restitution(the other kid was ordered to pay me a small amount), but I'm also praying to ask the Judge for me to give the kid a One Year Bible which he will be required to read during His probation.

The next 'Expectation' I'm feeling led to share involves my church. Please hear my heart and hear the truth and the lies with this. I've shared how special my church has been to me. It has been a true 'gateway' to where God is taking me. The lie about this is, I thought it would be the 'save all' church. I've shared with almost every Leader, really anyone I can about the value of the One Year Bible to any New Believer or anyone who is at 'that moment' in time when something happens and there is nothing else to turn to. Again, hear my heart of sweetness and know how I've prayed to let go of all bitterness. It's been really tough. This is a church that is all about people. The lie I've listened too is, 'Why aren't they about me?'

A couple months ago, my Husband began telling me, he felt it was time for us to visit other churches. I didn't tell him, but I was alittle bothered. Remember 'this' is the church that's gonna get me somewhere. Well-we've been visiting a new church in the area that focuses on healing. The past 3 weeks have been amazing. This past weekend, I practiced something new for me. I had planned to attend a Woman's event Saturday. That morning, God said, 'Remember-no Expectations.' When I walked in the door to register, they said-we have a couple FREE spots. You don't have pay. I grinned and told them I was visiting and Thank you so much. Next, I went to sign-in. The Lady there said 'Welcome Home.' That in itself sent chills and was such sweet confirmation as I had been hearing about God's perfect order- a Heavenly Home, A Church Home and a Home to live in. I knew my Heavenly Home was in tact, had been praying for a Church Home for my Husband and I and continue to pray for the Home to live in. Wow. Then, as I was standing in line, met a Lady who was very God appointed. She came back in a few minutes to tell me she saved a spot for me at her table. Yup-the table was in the front row-only God knew me and my love for being part of the 'front row club.'

The last 'Expectation' I will share is about our beautiful country-The Land of the Free where it is IN GOD WE TRUST~AMERICA! This one hurts. WE as a nation have done a really good job of letting go of our Freedom and a really better job of taking God out of every aspect of our lives: our jobs, DC and public schools. WE have done this. You might say as well as I've been guilty of the same, that I didn't vote for this or that. Guess what-you did. The fact that WE are where we are with this 'separation between Church and State' is a complete cop out. I'm not overly involved with the 'Wake Up America' group as I don't do very well following in other's than God. I too without knowing it, 'Expected' much of the past President and the same of the future. The problem is, I haven't done anything about it but sit back. I believe there will be a time and place for me to make a difference in this great country....not sure when, what situation-that's up to God.

Today~I woke up with a new 'Expectation.' NONE. As I complete this blog, I feel the sweet presence of God. My only 'Expectation' is in Him. There is a freshness in this new season. Fresh smells, fresh people, fresh opportunities....as you know...Trusting Go for All!

God's 'Amazing Grace'~part 2

In my last post, I mentioned the work God was doing in me and God's amazing grace. Odd enough, that day I had a really bad 'gut' ache deep in my stomach...hence the amount of typo's in the blog. Well-that day about 4:00, I walked outside and realized my car was gone. To many-no biggie, to me it was. God has had me in the 'wilderness' for the past 4 years. I've lived in 2/3 apartments, out of my car and have felt like I was 'just passing thru.' Knowing this, the things most important to me, stayed in my trunk. For example, my Daughter's Baby books and my other Baby-the portfolio for the vision for the ministry God gave me-Blessed Assurance. I kept thinking, the car and the stuff would show up.

Late Tuesday night, I received a phone call from a girl about 30 miles out, telling me she found a some of my Blessed Assurance business cards and a few other misc. things. After I felt the peace that she wasn't involved in taking the car, we enjoyed a conversation about God.

The sad part was I realized the reality of my car and 'my life' in it.

Thursday morning, I received a call that my car was found. I guess I thought if my car was found, the things precious to me would still be in it. Nope.

I was allowed to see my car, whom the 'ugly' people made it 'their own.' Blah.

Tearfully, I asked God why and what was I supposed to learn with this? Then it came to me, my Baby Books, etc. might be gone, but my 'babies'(Daughter's) and the Ministry are still here.

I had met with the Police dept. during the process and let them know I wasn't really 'feelin the love' from them. It seemed they weren't really doing anything to help me with the car as well as an awful amount of 'lack of communication.' At this point, I mentioned I was glad it was just my car and not anything more.

Well, Friday night things changed. My nephew died. At first, we thought it was natural causes and I was grateful we weren't going to have to deal with more 'un-compassionate' police people. Sad to say, it wasn't natural.

Anyways, I felt an amazing amount of peace. Couldn't and really haven't been able to share with many because death to most is not good.

Well-God has created something 'special' in me. I have and view death as a really 'sweet' time of true celebration. The full circle of life is absolutely precious to me. I understand that career test from High school so well.

The message is 'true surrender' to God's plan...not ours. Please hear the sweetness in my heart and know I am VERY sympathetic...remember I'm a natural born Chaplain just now discovering what that really means.

I've shared much about the vision of Blessed Assurance and most has been directed at the One Year Bible.

The part I don't think I've shared is when I first started 'hearing' from God.

It was during the death of my oldest Daughter's friend, that I met with His Family at a hotel to talk about the 'arrangements.' It was so sad that the people, workers, etc. had no idea what they were dealing with. At that point, it 'hit' me. Wouldn't it be sweet if there were something like a Bed and Breakfast for Families to stay in together while they were dealing with a time in life they probably weren't expecting. A place where all ages could begin the grieving process. Area's where Adults could congregate, coloring/media rooms for kids to play, and outdoor activities to be outdoors again during an unexpected time. To have workers love on the Family again during this time to let them know they really care. AMAZING! In the end, they would leave this 'time' here at the B&B. They would receive what you might guess is a copy of the One Year Bible to begin their new journey without this 'Loved one.' And if they would like, they could return to 'Memorialize' their 'loved one' at anytime.

During the last couple days, I've been seeing how GREAT this idea is. As many Family members are Flying in town and needing places to stay, it is my prayer they come in contact with some compassionate people who let them know they really care. I am praying to continue to see God's amazing grace in many~especially myself!

Again, if you see my Passion for God and His Love for us, I would love to meet with you to begin what He started in me 5 years ago. YES, I am asking for ALL help. Help with Faith Based Grants, Donations~any and everything you might have to offer. Yup...you know the ending...Trusting God for All.

I will finish with one of the many songs fitting for this time:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

'Amazing' Journey of True 'Grace' we've been Given

I posted this on Facebook last Sunday the 25th:

'It's been an amazing couple days watching Amazing Grace while letting go of 'chains' didn't really know I needed too while reading the book, "God and George W. Bush a Spiritual Life." MANY questions about ME found in this movie and book....and funny enough Amazing Grace is one of His (GWB) favorite songs! Will post a Blog about this 'amazing' journey of true 'grace' we've been given! Guess which Bible he reads?'
July 25 at 3:17pm

My heavens, where do I start. It's like I've started and re-started this blog and it just wasn't the right 'time.'

God is so good and the 'timing' today to share is just as perfect as the continued 'Grace' I'm learning to receive.

I've shared about the transformation process God has been doing in me. Many have asked, 'What led you to this?'

Well-much like the movie 'Amazing Grace' and George W, when I look back to 2005, I didn't find God, He found me.

Many of you who've followed this blog know my past. Forgive me as I share parts again as I pray there might be 'new eyes to see' and 'ears to hear' and might be touched to see how much Mercy and Grace are there to be had-we just need to receive it!

January 1, 2005 began with no job(worked temp. @ $10 per hr),needed to take care of the DWI I got the past summer and the time was 'now' to go forward with the Divorce Petition I had filed the previous November which meant I would be moving out of my home and leaving all I knew, esp my Daughter's.

I've been a Christian for many years....however didn't really understand Grace, Faith and Love. I have chills as I share, I heard George W. Bush read the Bible in a year and was convicted. If he can do it, I could too. Started my Bible reading and didn't/couldn't find the time to read and next thing I knew 2/3 weeks passed and I was still in Genesis. I remember thinking if there was a reading plan to follow, that would work. Found my girls Precious Moments Bible and in the back was a 'reading plan.' Tried this, again, was still not disciplined to follow. One Saturday night, was at the bookstore of my 'then' church Fellowship Grapevine and the Bible that has changed my life found ME!

Began reading, feeling so overwhelmed.

Had a job opportunity offered to me....wasn't sure about it, however I felt this amazing pat on the back, "Trust in me." So- I took the job. It was funny, again I started out making $10 an hour. Next thing I knew, the DWI was done, probation started, and by mid March my Divorce was finalized. Gosh...now time to move. Much harder than I ever expected.

I began this 'Amazing Journey' of seeking the true 'Grace' Jesus died for. At this point, my Daughters were 16, 12, and 9. Today I see God's hand in this. At that time, I promise I was 'heart broken.'

I met many people during this time who are still very close friends who met me 'then' and see me 'now' which allows me to again Thank God for His mercy and 'Grace.'

2006-I left this position and went back to the 'world' of Real Estate with the Family Business. This also meant 'straight commission.' It was this year that the Deuteronomy 8 verse reached out to me. Honestly thought my 'tests' were done and life was moving 'up!'

No-not yet. Again, staying in the word...reading pretty much every day, God was transforming me. Breaking down 'Me' to be like 'Him.'

2007 started with financial Blessings from God. This allowed me to take my 1st Mission trip which was to Argentina of which I am Blessed to still be in contact with the Couple who were the hosts. (prayng now to re-visit!)

Well-here comes the part I haven't 'blogged' about because it was too painful as I didn't understand what was happening. I started having these 'Visions' about a non-profit using the One year Bible. They started small ang got big. I was working so hard on these things. As they came to me, I wrote/did everything I felt I was supposed to do. The odd part was, it seemed every Real Estate client I worked-fizzled out. (this meant zero income for me.) By November the vision was getting really exciting and life as well.(This is when I met my Husband as well as I was Baptized in the Holy Spirit.)

The hardest part was as I was 'standing firm' on 'Faith like a mustard seed' and trusting God for what he was doing in my life...my 'nest egg' was getting smaller and smaller....doing all I thought was right...still not understanding.

I began going to/thru some much needed Freedom counseling at my new church-Gateway, I was able to 're-visit' some times in my life that had held me in bondage and really speak to some "Generational Curses' form my Family line.

What I was completely un-prepared for was my 'new spirit' was so new that it was open to some really 'rough spiritual attacks.'

2008 started with me applying for Food stamps and Medicaid for my kids....humbling...

Gosh-I felt so vulnerable. It was like I felt many in my 'inner circle'saying, 'where is God...almost as if they were 'mocking' me.' I had been doing all I knew for income-applying for any job...and God clearly didn't want that for me. Quite possibly, He wanted me to see some of the life I might be Ministering too.

By March, my relationship with 'the guy' had dwindled(again this is my Husband)

It was in April the 'big' one hit me. I remember driving down the road with my 2 youngest kids and hearing very clear: 'What would you do if you had no one here on earth...no parents, kids, etc. just me to lean on?"

My parents basically created a job as New Business Dev. for me to 'get me back to work.'

The idea of 'this' was a dream job for me...somewhat like I was the 'face and voice' of the company.

It was mid April when something really 'odd' happened to me me. Friday night I couldn't sleep. I was overcome with fear...turned into Saturday and then Sunday. I didn't sleep all weekend and couldn't eat.

What was really weird, was I felt like 'everything I knew' had been zapped. Today, I think this was what 'the world' calls a nervous breakdown...to God it is called Him 'completely breaking' His to be like Him. I went to work on Monday and looked at the computer and didn't know what to do. I was asked to work with a Real Estate client, and again, didn't know what to do. Definitely not able to be the 'voice and face' of the company. The only thing I knew to do was grab 'what I knew' my One Year Bible, but again-it was foreign.

So-you can imagine-what does the 'world' do? Medicate! Gosh. They 'assumed' all of my visions were 'thoughts of grandeur, etc'-get it? Bi-polar. Me not understanding-did what they said and took the meds. Oh my heavens...my life was over.

Guess what-yup that was true. MY LIFE WAS OVER. It was created by God for His Glory and to fulfill His Purpose and Plan.

By May 2008, I began hanging out with 'the guy' again who then became my Husband. Most of the story you know, the part I've been too embarrassed to share is how little I knew with this 'new' me. Even in the kitchen-utensils were odd. Everyday life was new. At that point, in my time alone, I pleaded with God to save me...He keeping tellin me...He already did.

In the past couple months, I shared about my daily life...today I want to share about my 'true life of Amazing Grace.'

Since I've been re-married...my life has been under attack...but God has been there every step of the way. You might think I only believe in the One Year Bible, no. What I know for sure is if you want to stay in line with God, you must be reading 'some' kind of Bible everyday to experience this 'Amazing Grace!'

It's been there for you...no matter how old you are. If you're not receiving this, please hear my 'heart' in this it-it's right there..God's word...

The book about George W. Bush offered me so many answer's to me and 'why' this Bible. He didn't only read the Bible-it was a friend of his, Dr. Tony Evans-yup the amazing Pastor from Dallas who gave this to Him. GWB says as He quotes Woodrow Wilson, "sorry for the men who do not read the Bible every day as it is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of life.'

Like me, the book speaks alot of the 'facts' of Separation of Church and State and my Passion of the Bible being a part of public schools, actually part of 'everyday' life everywhere! The truest fact of which is Freedom of Religion. Not ONE Religion. In fact, I'm Non-denomination..believing some Faith(Jesus died and rose for me) and Freedom is what our Founding Father's intended and then most important it is 'IN GOD WE TRUST!'

The movie, Amazing Grace continues to speak to me in reference to just 'how' and 'when' is the right time to pursue the vision God has given me. I feel much like Wilberforce with amount if 'knocks' I know I will receive. AS well-as the song itself,I was lost and now found..!

This past weekend, I celebrated my 2 Year Wedding Anniversary with my Husband. It was Thursday night, I spent some really sweet 'time' with him that I felt this 'new grace' in ways I've never felt. Friday- yesterday were spent celebrating what God brought together with this Union... so many 'worldly expectations put to bed....understanding more than ever the 'peace' of Honoring God for His expectations! Beautifully enough..again loving God...the topic spoken about this weekend at my church-Gateway-Southlake-was about THIS very thing! Knowing and receiving God's amazing 'gift' to us....the gift of GRACE!!!

I pray you hear my 'heart' in this, I would love to hear yours! I pray for financial Blessings in the near future for me to be the vessel God wants me to be....as you know.... Trusting God for ALL!

My Letter to President Ronald Reagan

Dear President Ronald Reagan,

Today, July 22, 2010, I finished the book written by Paul Kengor, “God and Ronald Reagan a Spiritual Life” and I wanted to write you to say, ‘Well done good and Faithful Servant!’

What an amazing Man of God you were and your legacy lives in many, including me. Your love of fulfilling God’s purpose and plan for your life was remarkable! As I believe you did not believe in coincidences, nor do I. Like you, the Bible is the book I live by with the One Year Bible as my daily devotional. With this knowledge, is there any coincidence that the book ended in the ‘Afterword’ of telling about your Death and Funeral. Your Pastor Reverend Michael Wenning read one of your favorites Biblical verses, 2 Chronicles 7:14-

Then if my people who are called by my name will
humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn
from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and
will forgive their sins and restore their land.


Again, not believing in coincidences of the timing of me being led to read this book, this verse is ‘today’ in the One Year Bible.

I must say, when you were President, I was graduating High School and am embarrassed to say, I had no real knowledge of what a great country we get to live in with Freedom being taken for granted-me at the top of the list. I had a relationship with God, but honestly no true understanding of what ‘freedom to believe’ really meant.

At that point, I thought I was going to become a Fleight Attendant until my career test said, ‘Funeral Home Embalmer.’ Honest. I answered the test with every bit of truth to who I am, and did not understand why and how I was supposed to talk and work with ‘dead’ people.

In 2006, a prophetic word was given to me by a trustworthy person. It said, I would use my influential persuasive ability with something I was passionate about in a Government position. I felt then as I do now, this would involve the One Year Bible. Since then, there have been many more 'words' given to me including 'You will change the world, and you have a 'very High Calling' on your life.

In 2007, God gave me some amazing visions using this Bible as the ‘source’ somewhat like a textbook of seeking your purpose and plan with your God given gifts to understand who and what you are created to do. I could see the Bible as a textbook in public schools, given to people bound by ‘inner chains’ and in the end those throughout the world reading, receiving, living the word of God in their everyday lives to experience the ultimate ‘gift of freedom’ Jesus died to give us.

Well, until today, I honestly did not have much clarity about how I could be used a vessel for God in any government position mostly because my relationship with God is number ONE. I understand more than ever my God given gift is I am a ‘true’ Chaplain. I love to seek those who are spiritually dead and help to restore them back to life! The transformation process God has been doing in my heart to wake in the morning to ask God how I can serve Him today- not me- has taken over. Still until today, not feeling completely ‘free’ to walk out in any work related area and give God the glory for all for everything I am and have, until today.

In closing, I Thank You again for your Faith and Trust in God’s will for your Life. For me, your legacy has brought new meaning to words you loved, I believe now more than ever:

“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may praise your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

'The Courage to Encourage and the Courage to Ask for Encouragement!'

When I was 5, my Dad took me to visit a Kindergarten school to see if I would be interested in attending. 'I' made the decision 'I' didn't think it was needed. From there, 'I' did many things in elementary, middle and high school. I've worked many jobs, am the Mother of 6 children(Blended) and now getting the chance to be a Wife again.

They say we are born as a sinner. This much I know. They say in order to be 'saved,' we must ask Jesus into our Hearts-this I did with the help of a true friend when I was 12 whom I'm so honored to say we are still friends.

From there, it has taken me to the 'newest' lesson God has wanted to teach me which I learned this last week.

I mentioned in my last blog I would be taking the Real Estate Broker exam last Friday. On my heavens, it has been a LONG time since I've had to 'buckle' down and study! I started out last Monday...really having a hard time concentrating on this-really wanting to create, write etc. Blah!

I'm still not sure why I needed to know so many things on a test to do a job that requires more knowledge in Experience and less 'book knowledge.' Anyway. Tuesday came around and I was really struggling because the information was not sticking in my brain.

Many who know me, know my Strength and Faith in God is very deep rooted. And, many who know me, think of my Faith and the idea that God will make 'it' happen. However, I too have and had to do the work in order to maintain this!

Somewhere along the way, I missed something. As I've grown into this 'new' person completely putting ALL of my trust in God, I think I missed the fact that He has put many wonderful people in my path to be there for me to reach out and have the 'Courage to ask for Encouragement.'

So, I started by texting my Husband which I'm embarrassed to say was hard. He sent back the PERFECT text that could only come from Him. Next thing I knew, one of my girlfriends called to encourage me and let me know how my journey has helped her. Yup...God was doing His thing like He always does....His word says, "I will never leave you or forsake you."

Friday morning, I knew I wasn't prepared, but I had done all I could do. I sent a text to many asking for prayer for the test. Again-they 'assumed' I had the brains to pass, etc.

Calgon!!!!!!! The test was aweful. Not only did I not pass, I felt completely DEFEATED.

So~what's the only thing a 'girl' is to do-shop. I needed a pair of shoes for a wedding the next day and had seen a pair I wanted-just need the right 'encouragement' to buy them. YUP-this was it!

Funny enough, I mentioned to someone before the test Friday that 'I' wanted to pass the test mainly because 'I' was so tired of studying.

The lesson for now was-it is important to have the 'Courage to be Encouraged' just as important as it is to have the 'Courage to Encourage!'

See-with my passion for the Word of God, I missed that I too deserve to to be encouraged.

Well-it was a 'fitful' weekend for me knowing the days were counting down for me to get this test over with. It was the 26th and I needed it to be done by the 30th.

On Sunday, I scheduled to re-take THE test for Tuesday the 29th. This was the last straw. Nothing like some good pressure.

Monday, I 'buckled' down like no other praying for the ability to concentrate like no other. Didn't sleep much and went in with the confidence only God could give and much encouragement from MANY on Tuesday morning. Guess what? I PASSED!!!

I get to finally say, I did this with God and many!!!!

It is my prayer for you to know it's good to have the 'Courage to ask to be Encouraged!"

It is also my prayer for you to look around today and ask God to give you someone for you to have the "Courage to Encourage!"

The picture below is the Bouquet of Roses from my Husband congratulating me which many of you know is really an amazing Victory for US!

'Driving into the Storm Straight on Trusting in Him!'

Amazing how quick things change in just a week!

Last Monday, my middle Daughter had an invitation to take her first 'unofficial' college visit! So~we headed out West...way west...Lubbock...Texas Tech bound!

Many of you know, I'm not a good driver...in fact, praying for the day I don't need to drive...anyways, headed out singing, "Jesus Take the Wheel!"

Got going...knowing God was in this...felt the continued 'peace that surpasses all' that I've been feeling with this 'new' ME God has been transforming!

Got to the last 2 hours of the drive and started noticing the dark clouds ahead and then the National Weather kept interrupting in on the radio with severe thunderstorm warnings that should hit between 3-9. Me, being the optimist just knew it would wait til we were arrived at our destination...nope.

It was really odd. It was like these big ugly orange/dark clouds were right in front of us...and all I knew to do was keep on going. Winds started moving my car towards the left...the 18 wheeler in front was swaying...yup-here we go-myself and my two youngest Daughters heading right for the storm. Amazing. I've never seen real 'storm chasers' til this day. There was the first, second and then the third. The winds started picking up and I started gripping my steering wheel harder. Called my husband to let him know what was going on...not sure why...but just 'in case.'

I knew I couldn't panic, so I kept focusing on the car in front of us with their hazard lights on. It was this moment that 'life' hit me.
Life is about 'driving into the storm straight on and completely Trusting in Him!' Wow. As you've read, there have been many storms I've faced, but not like this with just me and my girls in the middle of nowhere.

...Kept looking forward and knew the only thing I could do was reach out to God and pray with this new Faith and let Him drive us. Amazing. The middle Daughter said, "Mom, we can pull over now and I said no...we have to keep going thru-thinking 'this too shall pass!'

Ahhhhh....it did...we made it thru.

Thought I would shop around to get a good deal on a hotel, but found the first one that happened to be quite nice and said, I deserve this one! ~whew!

Checked in and then headed out to meet the Coach completely calling him the wrong name which let the girls know just how 'frazzled' their Mom really was.

It's been a week since this and I continue to reflect on this experience.

I have some really sweet "Praise Reports" to share about just how good and Faithful God is. HE WILL BE WITH YOU DURING YOUR STORM!!!

My oldest Daughter called last Thursday to tell me she would be getting a 'Full-Ride' this next year where she will be a Senior and VP of the Student Government at TLU and plans to pursue Law.(she just took her LSAT and is waiting on her score!)

Yesterday, the Middle Daughter 'verbally committed' to attend Texas Tech where she will start on the Woman's Soccer Team in 2012! The school, Coach, location is so perfect for her!

The Youngest Daughter was so impressed with the Texas Tech school, she plans on attending there as well to focus on her Mrs. Degree in 2015.

And then, for me-My Husband came back 'home' the day I posted my last blog. Our time apart was good and our time together has been 'Magical!' Blessed Assurance is taking Baby steps...and then this Friday I take the Real Estate Broker Exam in hopes to focus on the idea of a Faith Based Real Estate Company with using the One year Bible as the 'Training Guide' to 'Open the new door of your home for His Glory to shine through'

And yes...Trusting God for all!

The 'Walk' of my Life

Monday, May 17th I took what I call the 'Walk' of My Life. In reality it really began 5 years ago as I've shared with learning to 'Live' again. and have done this with God's word in the One Year Bible to be completely 'transformed' from who I was to who I AM by taking the 'Walk' of living my life of being set 'free' and getting In-line with God's purpose and plan for my life.

On the 17th, things were 'heatin' here at he 'new place' with my Husband and I told him I needed to go for a walk. As I was heading out, I asked God where I was going? He said-'there!' 'There' being where it really got heated up, 5 years ago when it was time for me to 'let go' of ME and surrender to HIM which was the home I moved out from, leaving my family and everything I knew to become the real 'Me'.

Wow. I kept pleading with God, it's kind of far, I'm really not dressed for this and He said, Trust in me. I started out, gettin a whistle and a honk and thought, I can't do this. God said, keep goin. As I got closer to the home, walking the streets that had so many memories of walking my kids to school, playing tennis, bike rides, I started understanding the 'need' of the walk. It was as if I needed to walk back thru this to see how far God has taken me. When I came to my street, tears started running down my face. How in the world did I ever leave this, what in the world took me down the road to such darkness? And then...as I walked up to my home the current resident was there and I walked up, introduced myself and said, I was just 'walking' by.

When I got back to the 'new place, ' the next part of the finishing touches of this 'transformation' process had begun as my husband was not there, he had gone back to the 'old place' of what he knew.


Tuesday morning the 18th of May the One Year Bible reading was: John 10:10: 'The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.' Yup. That's pretty much what was happening 5 years ago and was trying again today. After I finished my Bible reading, I was led to a book a wonderful Woman of God wrote and gave me called, 'Walking in Victory.' (A MUST FOR ALL to read and do as a Bible study...(www.GayeMoss.com)

Well-again, I tell you, the reason I'm so passionate about the One Year Bible is there just can't be so many coincidences(God's way of being anonymous)as this. I opened the book and Lesson One, Chapter One is Experiencing God's Abundant Life and the first verse to be read is:

"The thief comes only in order to steak kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).' John 10:10.

I was able to read thru the Book while reading in the One Year Bible the book of John that reinforced-applied the word of God. (In my earlier blog-this is how I worked thru my Dad's heart attack and how I'm dealing with the current situation with my husband.)

My friend mentioned in the book she was needing some help dealing with her emotions and read the Bible thru praying about this. As I finished her book, I've been doing the same. Another very gifted person who is an amazing man of God is named Bob Hamp who is executive Pastor of Freedom at my church. He just released His book-'Think Differently-Live Differently!' Once again-get it-read it-apply it with the Word of God-amazing!

It wasn't his book that has brought me to what I consider some of the 'fine-tuning' during this 'walk,' as it was an article He wrote in a magazine of 'Becoming Yourself.' He highlights 3 main steps to the pathway to freedom: Surrender your perspective, surrender your will and finally surrender your soul (mind, will and emotions.) Again, knowing my One Year Bible reading has been in the book of John, with chills it references:

"Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God." John 3:19-21

What I know for sure, this 'Walk' has been an amazing transformation process! The pain of 'life' that hurts deep in my gut is gone. Finally. And I know 'life' is going to continue. What I have learned and again want to help you with, is no matter what you're going thru YOU can begin the 'Walk of Your Life' today with this One Year Bible or any (this one just made it so easy for me and I really believe it will be easy for you if you're in a dark place looking for some way out)....God's promises are true and He is there every step of the way....Trusting God for All!

'What is Blessed Assurance Ministries?'

Many of you know Real Estate has been my 'day' job since the early 90's. Well, you might also know, during these past couple years, this is 'THE' industry that was first hit with the current economic 'issue's' and sorry to say, there was and has not been a Government bailout to help. Thanking God again for the ONE Year Bible-my textbook for strength again during a very difficult time.

For me, there were 2 choices-RUN....or seek God for His purpose and plan knowing full well, He's the one that led me to Real Estate in the first place.

In 2006, I began understanding my LOVE for Real Estate was 'more' than the 'Art of the Deal.' I honestly began loving the people I was helping to sell their home or purchase their new one. My favorite 'house-warming' gift began to be what I considered the only gift-a Bible with their name on it!

After my first Mission trip in 2007, God began 'stirring' something in my heart. A vision of helping people in their darkest moments 'see the light' somehow using the One Year Bible. It's like the 'pieces of the puzzle' of my life began to make sense. My love of the 'death process' and the knowledge I'm a born Chaplain began to make me smile.

I can't tell you how many times I've thought back to the career test I took in high school that said the 'perfect' job for me would be Funeral Home Embalmer at the time 'I thought' I would be the 'perfect' Flight Attendant for Southwest Airlines!

By the end of 2007, I understood 'some' of this, but not all.

April 2008, the ministry(Blessed Assurance) God had given me received Tax-exempt status from the IRS! I asked God to tell me the name to be used and I was obedient, however still not seeing the 'big picture.'

Since then, God has taken down a path today I know was for 'the good' of the Ministry. I have experienced some really tough 'Life' challenging moments where I know now was preparing me for what 'the ministry is.'

It was just 2 weeks ago while out with my Husband, he mentioned we need to go to church even though we're gonna be a few minutes late. We walked in just in time for one last song of the Praise and worship time....ONE last song that said IT so well...the ONLY song that could have brought me to my knee's during a time in 'Life' I was learning what TRUE love is and what we are ALL called to do:

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

Refrain:
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels, descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.


Last Tuesday, I felt led to finally open the bank account to accept donations for what I know now God is wanting me to do to be the vessel He has called me to be. While I was sitting in the lobby waiting, the Mission statement came that describes what I believe Blessed Assurance Ministries IS:

Blessed Assurance is a Ministry fulfilling the words of the song of 'telling my story' hoping to help you write yours, using the Word of God...all the day long!

I've attached a link to the title of this blog asking for donations to allow me to continue to 'plant the seed' of buying One Year Bible's to help you to begin writing your story.

I will share, the vision God gave me in 2007 was pretty big. Today, it's just a lil seed looking to grow into a great BIG TREE! If you think about the 'world' today-wow. So many people at the 'place' in life where they've hit the 'rock bottom' of darkness I know so well and I would love any and all support from you to help them to 'see the light!'

PLEASE Don't Wait to Make the 911 Call!

Revelation 3:20 says Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

My Friends, Family and Fellow Amercians I come today begging of you pleading with you that you don't wait to make the 911 call!

Early last Friday night, my cell phone started blowing up with my 2 big sisters calling me. I tried to call back, got their voice mail and then listened to mine....the message said, "Hey..not sure if you've heard, but Dads' had a heart attack.'

There's kind of a golden rule in my Family, you don't call me until you know what's going on because I'm the 'emotional' one. YUP that's me!

I immediately called my middle Sister and completely loosing it said, "How bad is it????!!!' (Looked up and said 'Thank you God for what you are about to do.)

Right now..I must take a moment and say a quick prayer:
'Father God. I Thank you so much for your WORD and the knowledge it is TRUE! Your WORD says, you will not give us more than we can handle. I Thank you for my Family and Friends and know 'we CAN do all things thru Christ who strengthens us!'~AMEN!

Saturday morning I rounded up my girls and we headed to Lake Travis. On the way there, I felt something 'lift' in me and started grinning! Had the funniest thought that came to mind: 'Gee Dad, you don't have to have a heart attack to get us to come visit, really! Next time, just ask!"

So many wonderful moments already coming from this.

I've been able to see my 2 Sisters in a whole new way. My big sister is definitely the one to be named 'Executor' to their estate. She came in and showed such love and leadership as the Oldest Daughter. Very independent and amazing strength! My middle sister is somewhat like the 'care taker.' She just kept asking my Mom, 'What do you want to do, do you want me to go with you, and I will go to Physical Therapy with you. She has a new since of peace she is walking in and it shines thru her in ways I don't think she even knows! As for me, I'm learning the BIG ONE: God is LOVE...I must act in LOVE in ALL situations!

The most amazing moment so far is watching My Mother show how much she loves 'Her Man!'

Apparently, Dad started feeling some pain in his left shoulder about 2:00 in the afternoon while prepping the boat for the weekend. He kept on going thinking the pain would go away and finally after doing everything 'He' thought possible...now 3 HOURS LATER, he called my Mother and told her, 'He wasn't feeling too well." Still not making the 911 call. Bless her heart-no pun intended! She was at the grocery, left her cart in the aisle and made a run to save her Man! Got to the Lake house, immediately gave him some baby aspirin and together decided they needed to go to a clinic. They arrived, hooked Dad up to the EKG and said, 'You're having a heart attack...we need to get you to the hospital!' NOW the time came to make the 911 call! Good ole Dad, says he was looking at them in complete disbelief. My heavens, the ambulance came with the sirens going off and I can only imagine what He and Mom were thinking at this moment. It would definitely have to have been the 'ride of His life!'

Today Dad is good. We are all VERY grateful it wasn't His time to go!


To you my close Friends, please look at your lives and take inventory. PLEASE ask yourself if you're really being 'true' to who you are? Are you where you are supposed to be? Do you know the truth? How long is it before you make the '911' call?

My fellow Americans, WE ARE HEADED FOR THE WORST ECONOMIC SHUT DOWN IN HISTORY! Our Government is acting in ways no man should have to live thru. The good news is WE ALSO KNOW A WORLD REVIVAL IS COMING!

PLEASE don't wait to make YOUR 911 call! PLEASE 'let go' of all control of your money and power and resolve to the LOVE God intended...as it is written, 'In GOD WE TRUST!' As you know...Trusting God for All...and I will close with my favorite song:

Mine eyes have seen the glory
Of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage
Where the grapes of wrath are stor'd;
He hath loos'd the fateful lightning
Of His terrible swift sword:
His truth is marching on.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watchfires
Of a hundred circling camps,
They have builded Him an altar
In the evening dews and damps;
I can read His righteous sentence
By the dim and flaring lamps:
His day is marching on.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

I have read a fiery gospel
Writ in burnished rows of steel:
"As ye deal with My contemners,
So with you My grace shall deal:"
Let the Hero born of woman
Crush the serpent with His heel,
Since God is marching on.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

He has sounded forth the trumpet
That shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men
Before His judgment seat.
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him!
Be jubilant, my feet!

Our God is marching on.
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

In the beauty of the lilies
Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in His bosom
That transfigures you and me;
As He died to make men holy
Let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

'Two Becoming One-My Adam and Eve Story'

We live in a fallen world-that darn Adam and Eve. The good news is God created Eve (woman) so Adam(man) would not be alone. I'm ready to share about my Marriage and the amazing Man of God I get to call Husband. I'm just now realizing how strong He is, how much 'junk' He DOESN'T allow to affect Him and what a wonderful provider and Authority He is to be given the true title of Head of our HOME! (PLEASE know, this is really hard for me, but I feel God wants me to share in hopes you know we all suffer, but with Christ ALL things are possible!)

In a church Ministry event Tuesday night, a wonderful person had a word for me. 'YOU are a TREE by a river. The Lord wants to affirm you. You have deep roots. The enemy has attacked you BUT, YOU STOOD FIRM. You are in a 'New Season' of Fruitfulness. Do not judge your future on the basis of your past.

I've talked so much about my divorce and today I want to tell you how I feel about it. I don't agree with divorce and will/would do anything to help you if this is something you are considering. It is not good. You MUST step back and surrender ALL to allow God to do the work He intended when He brought you together with the person you are Married too. Had I been in the WORD during my time of need, I would not have divorced, etc. Hence the WORD will keep you from sin and sin will keep you from the Word!

August 1, 2008 I re-married. I met my Husband at church in a 2 day Freedom event called Kairos-'Eternity Steps Into Time.' We were taking a lunch break and he introduced himself to me. Afterwards, I thought 'My heavens how many tears has he witnessed-wow-as this was day 2 of a very deep process of letting go of all your 'junk' from the past and being set free. As you've read, I had lots! After the event, he was waiting for me in the lobby downstairs where He asked me out to go on a hike. My response was, 'I will go on a hike, however I've got a deal with God that I'm not here at church to date, I'm just here to worship Him!'

We sat in the church parking lot and declared if we ever dated again it would be God's way and all of our expectations of what that meant. For me, I honestly didn't think one moment more about the hike-it just felt good to tell someone my 'dating plan!'

Well- we didn't go on a hike, but we did hang out together. It became very apparent we were very compatible-esp. when it comes to our 'belief's. I started sending him the Daily One Year Bible verses for the day and he would look them up on Bible Gateway at work. We were beginning to be on the 'same' page in life reading, receiving and living God's word. His name alone is enough to give you chills and yes he looks like Jesus!

We began dating. Not long after, he wanted a commitment and I wasn't sure. A few days later, these words came to me: 'When I'm with you, I'm at home." The only time I have ever felt at home in the past was when I'm at church. I told him, I didn't understand this. Today, I do as 'Home is where your heart is!'

A few months later, He was Baptised in the Holy Spirit and I knew we would be taking a break. (Jesus going in the wilderness for 40 days to be tempted.) We did. We met to say we weren't a couple any longer and hugged good-bye.

There were really only a few days we didn't talk, text or email. We weren't a couple, but there was still 'something' stirring in our hearts.

We began meeting at volleyball games and hangin out here and there and met for church. Slowly, letting God take us where He wanted us. About a month later, he said I think God wants us to be Married, I'm just not sure how. (We both have 3 kids-6 Blended.)

June 15, after a morning of Ministering to Seniors together, I went my way/ He his with plans to meet back at church and then go to lunch. With my youngest and one of her friends with me we met at church and then went to lunch. I could see him 'fiddling' with something and wasn't sure what it was. He told me he wanted to go outside for a minute and talk. The talk was 'THE PROPOSAL!'

Understand, I am the Mother of 3 Daughter's who did NOT like me dating anyone, they are BIG Daddy's girls! The youngest was glad I was engaged because it would keep the guys from 'hittin' on me. The middle wouldn't speak to me.... and tearfully, the oldest said she just wanted me to be happy!

We Married in a very small setting with just Him and myself as we had tried to put together a ceremony and it seemed everyone schedules would not come together. We spent the weekend together and ended where we began at church giving Praise to God for the Union he brought together.

From there, if you understand Spiritual Warfare, the attacks spoke about in the 'Word' given to me Tuesday night began.

I moved into His home he owned before me with Him and His 3 kids. What I wasn't prepared for were so many 'Spiritual Attacks.' For example~I would be in the kitchen and do something completely stupid. I kept asking God, 'What is in the kitchen doing this to me?' Finally, I heard there was a spirit of His ex-girlfriend and ex-wife(no names pls) in there. It turned out they(the ex's) had lined the kitchen cabinets-duh!

The Master bedroom was next. On the walls next to the bed and the one above the bed, was all of His kid/family memorabilia. The teddy bear his ex gave him announcing they were gonna have a baby sat above me as I slept at night. And then, so many books, family albums of him with his family/ ex-girlfriends sat on the bookshelf on the wall in front of the bed. Oh my. I didn't know what to do. As I began to tell him, it was only natural he felt attacked. On my.

Not long after that, the next BIG attack came. His ex-Wife and her boyfriend decided they would move next door. He also brought his 2 kids as well. Honestly 'they thought' this would be good. They thought this would open up some space to allow room for my girls in our home. My husband describes his ex as: Good idea- wrong execution. And oh so true. They didn't divorce because they were good friends, so why would they become Neighbors?

Okay-so that was Feb. 09. It went from bad to awful. My husband, kept telling me he didn't like it either, but I continued to feel like I was supposed to 'suck it up' and deal with it. I tried. So many things began happening. Our middle son lived with us and He would wake up and go next door and get a 'dose' of his Mom and bring it back into our home.For me, I work out of the home and was 'caving' bad. Next, he and his sister, took my Favorite Howard Miller clock and 'bashed it' because they didn't like the chime. Understand, this was one of the very few things I allowed 'me' to buy after I divorced and would joke and say it would go to my grave with me as it was that special. From there, his ex and boyfriend would take vacations leaving the kids home-no problem with the 17/18 yr old, but, what about the sweet little 13 year old girl that needed someone? And then the pets. They had 4 dogs they would leave out. Remember, we live in the country. Well, you might know, on one of my walks, it was on my watch one of the dogs got stepped on by a horse as they would follow me and I knew this was gonna happen-just didn't think I would be alone. I didn't understand why they didn't put of a fence, so why did I think they would be responsible when one of the pets got hurt? Wow-again. They acted like they could care less when we called to say the puppy got hurt.(me holding it with it's leg hangin off was just too much for me!)

On Mother's Day we moved into an apartment to get away as well as get closer to my girls. I noted the 'new place' God had taken me. I can honestly say, I knew it was time to heal from the attacks, I just didn't think it would be without my Husband. We had decided to rent our house to his boys, and we would keep a room for all reasons. What I didn't think, is we/he would be using it so soon. But, after moving and realizing our Marriage had been under GREAT attack, we decided to have some space to heal.

Dear Lord-let the humiliation began. I began with the 'You need to be home with me...the Marriage is All or nothing talk....why would you want to be next door to your ex... why is this happening to me....the pride thing-what are people going to say... and Finally.....breathe....I Married 'til Death do us part' and whatever He/we need to heal~I must honor what God brought together that 2nd day of 'Eternity stepping into time!' True LOVE bears ALL!

It has been 11 days since my Husband and I have had our space and as I have 'PLUNGED' into the WORD like no other, am happy to say WE ARE HEALING. We've spent some really sweet time together during the days....time as if we were beginning again.....time like it is supposed to be....time spent as it is intended Two becoming One as God intended.

I can't tell you the ending... no one can.....I can tell you God's promises are true and today I stand FIRM on His Word...He brought us together for His Purpose and Plan and most important....Trusting God for ALL!

Happy Mother's Day to Me in My 'New Place'~ Proverbs 31

I am extremely humbled and in complete 'awe' of God today more than ever by the true knowledge HE is in control! I promise. His timing is so more perfect than I could ever imagine~just 'Believe!'

Today, the day after Mother's Day I get to share a couple of the many Blessings I know God has in store for me. His much needed work in me is paying off! I am forever grateful we serve a God of grace and for giving me a 'Second Chance.' Today, I am sitting in a 'new place'~no pun intended with an amazing amount of 'peace that surpasses all understanding!'

It has been a while since I posted a blog as 'life' has been ever so challenging with my character being tested in ways I never could have imagined this past month. Somewhat like a 'fine tuning' to make sure I understood these past 5 years. Oh my-do I ever! It is NOT natural for a Mother to be without her children, home, etc. Today, however it is well with my soul!

I 'have waited' for so long to feel the peace that comes with being a Wife and Mother! So many years have passed ~ 21 to be precise. It's like I had a child, came home from the hospital, started to clean, and get ready for work the next week. It went from there to the next child and then finally the last. I never knew how to sit back and relish in the idea of being a Wife and Mom. I started work at the age of 16 and it was noticed very early on I had wisdom beyond my years. I was quickly promoted to Assistant Manager. Working was what I knew I was really good at, it is what came natural to me so this was what I did. I enjoy cooking and cleaning 'every now and then,' but blah-everyday seems so unimportant!

I've spoken a little before about my divorce(I wrote and handled without attorney's) where I gave my ex custody of my 3 Daughter's. I can not tell you how much persecution I have taken over the last 5 years because of this. It has been awful! I will tell you again, I knew it was what I needed to do and today I know for sure! It was like I have felt God's hand on my shoulder this whole time saying, 'Trust in me!' And~I have-thanks to His word thru the One Year Bible! Many of you know-this is why I have such passion for this Bible as it was/is the ONE and ONLY source that was there/is there EVERY step of the way...a couple good times, soooo many tough times. I could/can open up to THE day and find some sort of peace with what I was going thru which has given me the strength on this amazing journey of reading, receiving, living my life according to the purpose and plan God created in me. Again, it has been the hardest time of my life....today~extremely worth it!

This 'new place' has been extremely prayed for. This 'new place' could not have happened had God not led me to my church in 2006 where I met my Husband. This 'new place' could not have happened had my Husband not mentioned in January it was time for me to get closer to My Daughter's. This 'new place' could not have happened-I promise-if it weren't for God and His WORD I began seeking in 2005.

And so I will close with sobs~not tears...I've come to this 'new place' as a God fearing Wife and Mother with my Daughter's home with me just as they are supposed to be....Trusting God for ALL!

Proverbs 31~A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies."

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." Her husband trusts her management of their resources. Her industriousness adds to the family income.

"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life." This woman does not do right only when it is convenient and profitable. Her actions are not based on how she is treated by others or by what others think. Her character is steady. She is reliable and dependable.

"She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands." This woman enjoys working so much that she plans ahead for what she needs in order to accomplish her responsibilities.

"She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar." The trait not to settle for the mediocre is portrayed by a woman who goes the extra mile for quality items.

"She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." Though the woman described here has servants to take care of many of the household duties, she sets the pace. She understands that good managers have a responsibility to take care of those under their authority. That is one of her top priorities.

"She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard." Every woman doesn’t have to go into real estate and horticulture — the principle here is that this woman uses her mind. She does not act on a whim, but logically analyzes a situation before making a decision. Her goals are not only short term — she envisions the long-range benefits of her decisions.

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." We get a picture of a woman who vigorously goes about her duties. She keeps herself healthy and strong by proper health practices — good diet, adequate rest and exercise. Many people depend on her.

"She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." She knows that her merchandise is good and takes pride in doing a good job. Night or day, no one worries that her responsibilities are not taken care of.

"In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers." The example she sets is one of skill and industriousness. Whether this woman would be a computer programmer, a concert pianist, a mother, or all three, she develops her talents and hones her skills through education and diligent application.

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." Although it’s good to donate to needy causes, this means far more than writing a check. This woman shows personal concern. She visits the sick, comforts the lonely and depressed, and delivers food to those in need.

"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet." Providing clothing for the family is one of her responsibilities. She takes this seriously, and plans ahead. She does not practice crisis management.

"She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple." This woman has high standards and dresses properly for the occasion.

"Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land." This man does not have to spend half his time trying to straighten out problems at home, and his success in the social world comes partly from her support, just as her success comes partly from his support. The original woman of Proverbs 31 couldn’t phone her husband for his opinion on matters. She made many of the day-to-day decisions about their property and goods. He trusted her to manage the estate efficiently.

"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes." This woman runs a business from her home. Her efforts and industry add to the family income.

"Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come" (NKJV). Not only does this woman benefit each day from her wise and diligent actions, long-term lifetime benefits and rewards lie in store for her.

"She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." This woman is well read and has the facts. She knows what she is talking about. Whether about her job, her personal values or her opinion on world events, she is able to express herself intelligently, tactfully and diplomatically. People come to her for good advice.

"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." She is an organized, energetic person who carries out her responsibilities.

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her." This woman is not a doormat, slavishly trying to appease and please her family, no matter how unreasonable their demands. She is honored in her home. Here we gain an insight into the character of her husband as well. He teaches their children to respect here and the virtues she personifies.

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." High praise for this extraordinary woman — a role model for women of all time.

"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Here is the key to this woman’s effectiveness. Her priorities are determined by God’s will, not her own. She is concerned about what God thinks, rather than with what other people think. Physical beauty and clever conversation are admirable qualities. But if a woman’s beauty and charm are the extent of her virtues, what happens when time and the trials of life take their toll? This woman does not depend on beauty and charm for her success. She recognizes her need for God.

"Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." This woman is actively doing, not merely talking. She does not boast about her plans for the future or her successes of the past. They are obvious.

Spring Brings a 'New Season' to Many

Spring is here.
Change is here.

Tearfully, I share~for me personally, the last 5 years have been 5 of the longest years, 5 of the hardest years of personal growth and 5 of the the BEST years of coming to know God as my provider and with Him ALL things are possible!

Again with tears, I will share it was 5 years ago that God allowed me to divorce and gave me the opportunity to seek Him with all that I am. It was at this time, I heard George W. Bush read the Bible from start to finish every year. I had tried many times to read the Bible (all the way thru) however, never got past Genesis. After hearing about Bush, I was led to get the One Year Bible. What an amazing 'tool' this Bible has been during a time 'many' knew was a 'make it or break it' time for me. It has 15 minute daily readings of the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalm and Proverbs. I started reading March of 2005. In the beginning, there were days I read and yes~days I didn't. I would feel guilty~ so I would read the days I missed. One day, I felt God tell me, yesterday was just that, begin with TODAY because it is just that~Today!

In my Testimony, I share, how MANY days in the Bible would speak of things that were happening in my life~yes, on that VERY day of what I read that morning.

In my Testimony, I've shared, it was a 'duh' moment when I read Deuteronomy 8(2005). A couple days later, it began stirring in me that I was close to being 40.....

My Testimony completely 'involves' this One Year Bible as most of the days in the Bible were the days God was showing me how I was living my life according to His WORD!

As tears are flowing down my face, Deuteronomy 8 is coming soon. With such 'sweetness,' I will share God has given me 40 years of 'tests' and is now Blessing me as He is moving me to a land flowing with milk and honey. I am beginning my 'New Season' with a new home for my daughter's to be with me as well as 'new doors' are beginning to open for me to Glorify God with the Passion he created in me that is bigger than me, but not bigger than Him.

It is this Bible that has become my ROCK. It is this Bible that has given me the strength TODAY to be able to share the MANY Blessings I am receiving. It is with THIS Bible I know more than ever my God given gifts~my passion! I think many who know me (or those who don't) think I'm 'sellin' this Bible as if I wrote it or something silly. NO. So many in 'the' church know the Religion(the History) of the Bible. As I'm finding out more and more, sad to say, not many 'in the church' are reading, receiving, and living the Bible.

It is my prayer that you recognize my 'Passion' as you are reading. It is my 'true passion' to help those of you who are lost. Or, help you if you honestly don't know 'how' to read, receive, and live the WORD of GOD as your strength and comfort in your every time of need.

I pray for you as you begin your 'New Season'.....Trusting God for ALL!

The 'High Calling' on My Life!

Amazing~just writing 2010 in my personal journal is a 'wow' to me. It seems like yesterday I was writing 2006,07,08,09 and again-it's March 6, 2010-where has all the time gone?

I'm in a 10 week study called 'In His Presence and Secrets of the Secret Place' with the complete feeling God is showing His unconditional love for me in ways I honestly never knew.

I was led to get the movie Ice Castles of which I keep watching the movie~listening to the song with these lyrics OVER and OVER with tears streaming down my cheeks as the 'words' are exactly how I feel today:

Please don't let this feeling end
It's ev'rything I am
Ev'rything I want to be
I can see what's mine now
Finding out what's true
Since I found you
Looking through the eyes of love

And now I can take the time
I can see my life
As it comes up shining now
Reaching out to touch you
I can feel so much
Since I found you
Looking through the eyes of love

And now I do believe
That even in the storm we'll find some light
Knowing you're beside me I'm allright

Please don't let this feelings end
It might not come again
And I want to remember
How it feels to know you
How I feel so much
Since I found you
Looking through the eyes of love

Please don't let this feelings end
It's ev'rything I am
Ev'rything I want to be
I can see what's mine now
Finding out what's true
Since I found you
Looking through the eyes of love


As I was reading, feeling the 'Presence of God,' I felt the 'tug' to pray for complete discernment of the 'High Calling' God has on my life. Is the time drawing near to pursue the things he has been 'stirring' in my heart of which I've had some wonderful confirmation from a couple of Ladies who have an amazing prophetic gift:

~is it time to pursue the word given to me in Oct. 06~Propensity-I would be used in an influential/motivating way with 'something' I am passionate about today in a Government position(I believe this involves the One Year Bible)
1 Cor. 12?

~it is time to pursue the word given to me last Nov 09~ I have a 'very' High Calling with a writer's heart that will give peace to people? (My blog or the vision of the Ministry-Blessed Assurance-God gave me in 2007)
Habakkuk 3:19 and Habakkuk 2:2-3

~is it time to pursue the Faith Based Real Estate company my Husband has named Palace Properties which would 'open the door to Your New Home to allow His Glory to Shine thru'?

~the last word I received was just 2/15/2010 and really felt like it was bringing everything 'home'~you will change the world, you are walking in Kingdom Authority, God's grace is flowing thru you, you have everything you need, God is opening New doors and Your life is an open book!

For me~I feel God's presence and love for me with the ability to go into the 'Secret Place' in ways I have never experienced. I don't want this feeling to end. I am more prepared than ever today to answer the 'High Calling' he has on my life when he says the time is NOW. Not to worry. I don't think I'm 'Going Rogue' as one of my favorite persons is 'called' to be going, however I will share today, I am in complete 'awe' of her Faithfulness when the 'world' has been completely ugly to her.....Trusting God For ALL!

On the Way to Where We're Going

I've mentioned before about the MUCH needed work God needed to do in me when I was faced with Divorce. As believer's, we know we're born into a world of sin. At a God appointed time, we confess our sins by giving up control of our life to God by asking Jesus into our Hearts.

My question/thought's as we travel our individual journey's is how many times do we forget 'on the way to where we're going' that it is only me/you in the end. Death is 100%. We are all going to die. Most important, it is only me/you on judgement day in front of God answereing the 'many' questions I can only imagine He has for me/you. (No kids, spouses, etc.)

Today, due to the circumstances of 'life', I'm really embarraseed to confess I've become quite vulnerable to the demands of 'life'. Today it 'hit me' really hard I have ALOT of questions to be asked and I am sad about the answer's I have to give. Today it 'hit me' as a Believer, I'm NOT to let demands and circumstances come before God no matter what. This is especially hard when you're a Wife, Mother, employed by your Parents~your #1 weakness is co-dependency and you 'think' their demands and circumstances will gain the much looked for love that many co-dependent(people pleasing) people are searching for. For us, the NEED to do whatever~whenever~no matter how hard it is and usually no matter what the cost is.

I mentioned before, I 'Re-Married' August 08. Can you imagine the demands and vulnerability of a Mom who has 3 of her own kids and Marries a man with 3 kids? Such a Co-dependent/people pleaser's 'dream!' Needless to say, it didn't take long for me to become completely exhausted! And let me remind you I work for my Parents! Wow.

Last September, I was led to have bunion surgery on both my feet. I knew God wanted me to surrender some things. I thought most of this had to do with my job. I gave up 75% of my job and put my trust in Him for His financial provisions to make the remaining 25% spread like only He could do. I 'blogged' before about me seeking God to learn to have 'fun!' Today-what 'hit me' was I haven't been obedient to things like taxes. I've been faithful to my tithe, however not to 'Ceasar.' I watch everyone else take care of their personal 'stuff,' but for some reason I didn't feel deserving of taking care of my own personal 'stuff'. I let their needs become more important than mine. Not good.

My prayer for myself and you is I/you know and understand God wants me/you to seek Him for ALL. He wants each of us to take care of our personal 'stuff.' I/you ARE deserving 'on the way to we're we're going.' I know it's hard when there are so many demands and circumstances in life....I really know. However, today what I know now more than ever that in the end~it is just me/you and God on that ever mentioned Judgement Day and I pray we can be filled with the answers that please Him...Trusting God for ALL!

A Mother's Love

On this Valentine's Eve, my heart is heavy as I recognize my TRUE Love ~ God, and then the love of my life, my Husband...and honestly I feel soooo led to dedicate this Valentine's Day to my 3 Daughters.

I mentioned before in my Deuteronomy 8 Story that when I divorced, I moved out and wanted to make sure my girls lives didn't change(as much as possible). This has not been easy. It's now been almost 5 years and the pain of them not living with me has not gotten any easier, nor does the love of a Mother's Heart ever change.

My oldest continues to 'wow' me as she is the Big Sister I could have only dreamed for. She is the 'Academic' one who is considered the 'Curve setter' at Texas Lutheran University as well as President of the Marketing Association and then serves on the Student Government Association. The other night, she called to tell me she was on her way to cook pasta with a friend and to bring me up to date on all of her 'stuff'. She mentioned she was receiving applications to NYU and Yale for Law School and at first, I had to ask her where is Yale? Then, as I recognized her happiness is all I care about, I went on to the important stuff like~ what kind of pasta was she cooking and more important-how late would she be out?

My middle daughter is a Junior in High School and is the 'Athletic' of the 3. I continue to be so impressed with her as I know how bad 'Peer Pressure' can be for a girl her age. She mentioned to me the other day how hard it is to go to school on Monday's because all the 'Popular people' do is brag about all the parties they went to over the weekend, etc. etc.... and she doesn't know what to say. I try to remind her of the many Blessings in store for her with her God given gifts in athletics as long as she 'Believes!'

The youngest of the 3 is my 'Socialite.' I am the youngest of 3 Girls and was also the socialite. So-it is quite obvious to many I really understand her position. Many 'think' she is my favorite because of this~however God know's they are each my Favorite! I feel like her life has been impacted the most because of my divorce. She continues to amaze me with her ability to adapt. The hardest thing for me is when she calls crying about something I can't help her with-esp. when it involves a fight with her middle sister. The cutest thing about her is she has become very accustomed to hanging out with new friends and is a wonderful Christian witness!

I knew it was the right decision to 'move-out' of the home when I divorced because I really felt God wanted to do some much needed work in me, however I can be completely honest today and say it is the hardest thing I ever imagined doin. I pray and continue to surrender these 3 girls to God... and God knows the biggest desire of my heart is for them to live with me again.

The reality of this is-the oldest won't ever need to live with me as she is in college and on her way to where God is taking her. The middle daughter is a Junior and will be leaving to go off to college in a year. And, the youngest...my oh my...who know's what amazing things God has in store for her!

So, I sit back~humbled~somewhat in tears~ Thanking God for these Beautiful, Sweet Girls and I Love them so much~so often from a distance, but NEVER letting go of the TRUTH and that is a Mother's Love never lessons~it only gets stronger! As you know.... Trusting God for All!

Praise Report! The Battle 'Within' is Mine to Win!

My oh my do we ever serve an amazing God! See, I started working at the age of 16 and for the most part, this has been the main thing I've had 'fun' doin since then. If something work related was going on, it's been somewhat expected that I attend. If it were not work related, inner guilt got the best of me and attempted to keep me from attending.
Wednesday, I found myself realizing I don't think I've ever allowed myself to take the time to have 'real fun' cooking and doing stuff as a Wife and Mom. It's like I let the 'expectations' of these roles take over. My Husband's Mom was coming over for dinner and I found myself 'dreading' the whole process of getting groceries,cooking, etc. I started the day in prayer and found myself asking God to show me ways to have 'fun' doing these things. Amazing-I strolled thru WalMart picking out the 'perfect' fish to cook(even found out Talopia is not Dolphin-duh?!) and then had a great time looking for a Valentine 'goody' for my 21 year old college Daughter-4 Tiara's for her and her roommates to wear to show they are TRUE Princess's to God! Came home, lit candles and had an amazing time preparing the food!

Yesterday, woke-up-Thanked God for the 'fun' I had and asked if I could do it again, but this time, I needed the help to allow myself to go to my Woman's Life group during 'work' hours and have fun. Most of the Ladies there know, I kind of had to 'fib' in the past and say I had a meeting scheduled so I didn't get in trouble.
I went, again, had an amazing day with Ladies who are just that~amazing! As we get to know each other, we're allowing ourselves to let our guard down and share areas in our life we are struggling with and at the end we come together in agreement in prayer that God's promises are TRUE! Yes! Yes! YES! ~Trusting God for All!

The Battle 'Within' is Mine to Win! ~ Exodus 15:19–17:7

Life is so amazing. I'm a grown woman, wife and mother. I guess I thought when I was a young girl that 'grown up' meant something like 'problem free' or better yet, all the battles I faced as a young girl would 'go away' when I 'grew up.'

We'll as I am reading(any praying you are too) my One Year Bible, yesterday I read and really understood the parting of the Red Sea in Exodus and am honestly 'wow'd' at God's love for us.

My heart is pure, my motives are true!

The battle I'm facing today is a battle I believe many of us face and it's the battle 'within.'

Today, for me, many would look at me and see a pretty lady who is joyful and think her life must be so perfect. She is 'remarried' to a GREAT guy and you know the Fairy Tale that goes with that!

...we'll I can say it does keep getting better and better, but I really want you to understand it is only by God's love for us!

As you've read in my earlier posts, I met my Husband at church at God's perfect timing. YES~His timing is really that perfect, however we are all silly humans and many things less than perfection come with this. The biggest 'battle' we/I face are our jobs. He's worked for the same company for the last 23 years where structure is an understatement. He works Monday-Friday and has weekends off. I on the other hand, am in the Real Estate business where flexibility is a given and weekends are somewhat expected. The good news is God has given me a wonderful amount of wisdom and has allowed me to work less-much less and continues to be faithful with financial provisions. Lately, my flexibility has allowed me to feel very bored and guilty when I think I might be having fun while he is working. Now-does he feel guilty when he is having fun on the weekend when I'm working-I don't think so. I've been feeling a HUGE desire to express some of my inner dance, performance onstage, ice skating, etc. feelings. He's not so sure about this. This week, I thought-maybe I would go ice skating during the day so he doesn't feel like he has to give in to something for me that he really doesn't want to do. This is just one of many things I think of doing during the day while he's working and unfortunately the guilt has kept me from doing any of it. Funny enough, last night he mentioned he would be attending a work 'fun' function this Thursday night. I was speechless. He was allowing himself to go have fun with work people. Not church...not couples(us)...the dreaded work people. Oh my, it was soooo hard not to get mad at him. After I sat for ALOT of minutes I told him about my battles. He was kind of like-huh? After a couple of tears, I asked for his help with this...yes to encourage me to have fun during the day while he is working. MY battles are not HIS battles. I can NOT allow his thoughts to take over what I know God's love for me has offered. Do I take advantage of this love~ABSOLUTELY NOT! Must I make sure my priorities are taken care of YES...after this, I honestly believe God's love for me is to have FUN...and yes Trusting Him for ALL!

~I 'might' attach pictures of me Ice Skating...when I go...as I WIN this Battle WITHIN!

The Ultimate 'Daddy's Girl!'

Isn't funny how movies 'speak' to us? I was watching "The Cutting Edge" the other night and had a really sweet 'breakthrough.' It's about a girl whose Mom died when she was young. Mom must have been a Ice Skating Olympian and Dad wanted the little girl to continue the legacy. In the end, the girl was only doing what she thought would make her Dad happy. She became burnt out and said, 'When or loose, I just want to be your Daughter."

I am the youngest of 3 girls. Yes, my parents were hoping for a boy. My Dad is an only child and is a Jr. to His father who was very much the 'socialite' back in the day. My Dad 'hints' about stories from his childhood not being the easiest, however my Sisters and I knew him as the 'Prince!' I know my Grandparents wanted my Parents to have a boy to continue the family name, however the legacy ended when I was born. I was brought up to be very independent. Thru some Freedom counseling, I realized I didn't need anyone to help-I could run the world at the age of 5 if nothing else my life-right? I was/am Daddy's Girl-the boy he never had. From fast pitch softball to doing business deals, I am His 'minnie me.' We think totally alike and can finish each others sentences. Oddly enough, it just hit me the other night what He would tell me all my life~I could do whatever I sought out after and He would support me! He truly only wanted me to be Happy. Tears! See all my life, I've been trying to do whatever to make Him(both my Parents) happy. Work hard~makes lots of money. It was just this last September til now that I finally understand THEY want me to do whatever makes me happy and the money will come. Gosh. This is the same thing I just learned with my 'Heavenly Daddy!" He has given me so many wonderful gifts that I'm learning to appreciate-most important the gift of compassion to really love people. As I've learned to completely surrender all to Him-I have so much peace and am so happy! The knowledge that He~God~created me for His purpose and His plan in His timing is so real to me today! I am the ULTIMATE DADDY'S GIRL and Trusting God for all!

My Deuteronomy 8 Story

Wasn't sure to post or not, but felt led to share my past in hopes for you to see God's Faithfulness on my journey. He didn't promise us a life without 'stuff' however, He did promise us~He will never leave us or forsake us!"

Years 0-39 were tough. 0-21-I had several boyfriends where like so many I was looking for love in ALL the wrong places-essentially I couldn’t figure out why I had to learn everything the hard way! At the age of 21, met my now Ex and after a month was pregnant with Brittany who is now 21. At my parent’s ‘coaching’we were married 1 month before she was born. I really married and had 2 kids-Howard and Brittany. There was obvious little trust-etc. because we were anything but ‘equally yoked.’ Long story short, Bridgett was born in 1993 and then Brooke was born in 1995. The marriage was bad. Howard and I worked opposite shifts to minimize the daycare expense. In 2003-we began working the same shift and the Marriage went downhill.

Late 2003, I picked up THE $1Million Buyer. Also-began helping 'this' client create a Real Estate Investment Trust and was negotiating some pretty big $$$ deals. You can imagine-I was ‘Bad to the Bone!’ Unfortunately the idea of all the $$$ I was scheduled to make and the people I was interacting with begin to take me down the wrong road of drinking and hanging out with the opposite sex. Ultimately the more nice things that were said to me both professionally and personally began to define me because I had not and was not hearing it at home. I have now ‘freed’ myself of the bondage that came with this. Today I know the wisdom that came with this-negotiating/ learning all the important business information is what I am now utilizing to implement the vision God has given me to carry out with Blessed Assurance.

On June 24, 2004-I spent the night in jail where I had been arrested for DWI ACROSS THE STREET FROM GATEWAY! When they say God doesn’t give you what you can’t handle-AMEN! I was served pancakes and pot pies-pretty much the worst part of being in this jail was I didn’t have anyone to talk to and I NEEDED TO HEAR THEIR STORY! It was during this awful night of complete solitude-I mean I was doing lunges to pass the time-any and everything not to let THIS get me! Finally- I was laying in the bed crying-feeling so lonely- I heard God say, “Is this what you want from life Heidi? You have the whole world available to YOU-go do it!”
2 Kings 6:1-7:20

At this point-I was spiritless. I found out THE $1 Million buyer was a fraud and I was broke, my marriage never was a marriage, had a DWI to deal with and saw ‘THE PILL BOTTLE” that could cure it all.

Well-I decided to fight-the ‘pill bottle’ wasn’t going to win! I know God created me for a purpose and it was time to start receiving JOY through Jesus Christ!

October 2004-Began spending a lot of time in the courthouse. It was one day at court for the DWI; I found the law library that educated me on writing my divorce of which I filed the petition in October 2004.

Jan. 1, 2005-I woke up and heard what I missed in jail…I misunderstood God. It wasn’t him saying YOU go do it-He was saying, “Give ME control of your life and I will SHOW you the purpose I created you for!” It was at this time, I found the One-Year Bible and began READING AND RECEIVING THE WORD. I had tried to begin reading the normal Bible and have what so many considered a ‘quiet time’ and because I was such a baby in my knowledge of God and Jesus-I continued to give up. I honestly believe THIS Bible is essential for new believers because it’s broken down into 15minute daily readings of the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalm and Proverb. The Book of Matthew.

February 2005, I pleaded guilty to DWI. Part of my conviction included community service at Mission Arlington. I had always wanted to serve/help and in the beginning I was mad that it took me to ‘have’ to serve God of which now I only want to serve HIM!

February 21, 2005-need a job that pays. Went to work at an Apartment Community to earn an hourly income ($10.00 per hour) to begin cleaning up the mess “I” created. This was esp. tough, as it was like I went back in time-almost like crawling because this is the job I had in 1991.


March 2005-Wrote my Divorce decree without any attorney’s with only spending $300.00. I was absolutely moved to tears when I realized I pulled this off and immediately knew it was ALL God! However-divorce for me meant moving on without my Ex and 3 Daughters. I wrote the divorce giving my Ex Primary custody of the girls and taking nothing to make sure their world was as ‘unaffected’ as possible. I knew I needed to find ME and because I realized how much work needed to be done-it was best for them to live with their Dad. As I now know- no matter how hard it’s been-the Lord was sending me to ‘THE’ wilderness to focus on HIM and only HIM.
Ezekiel 20:1-49
Because of this, learning to love my Daughters in ‘Spirit’ and not in ‘Person’ is where I’ve gained the true feeling of understanding the grieving process. It is anything but normal for a Mother to be without her daughters. Today-I’m realizing my Daughters will soon be grown and the idea of them serving God in this Ministry allows this decision to become so much clearer!

February 2006-Began rebuilding-traded in the old beat up 1990 Honda my parents’ let me use and bought a 2006 Honda Accord

March 2006-a Real Estate Client from the past wanted to give me Credit on their new home purchase because I listed and sold his home for free when he went through his divorce

May 2006-took my biggest Leap of Faith so far and went back to the world of working straight commission in Real Estate with the intent of running my parents Real Estate Business when they retire

JULY 2006-Attended Catch the Vision joined Gateway Church!

October 2006-My Ex husband Howard was fired from his job and God said he would have another job and it’s YOU (me Heidi and my Family Business) who would give him this opportunity of which he is still working for today

October 16, 2006-while attending Single Mother’s-this night-Monday) Samantha Golden was holding a ‘Hearing The Holy Spirit Class.’ The enemy tried so hard to keep from this night with MS Symptoms-not sure if it’s been mentioned several doctors want to label me with Multiple Sclerosis. God won! On this night, a women with the gift of prophecy had a WORD for me:
WHEREVER I AM TODAY (WHAT I’M MOST PASSIONATE ABOUT) IS WHERE GOD WANTS ME TO USE MY PERSAUSIVE, INFLUENTIAL, and MOTIVATING GIFT IN A GOVERNMENT POSITION. HE ALSO GAVE HER THIS WORD-PROPENSITY!

December 31, 2006-had to reschedule my nail appointment to meet a friend who wanted to view a home to consider purchasing-she wrote the contract that day and it closed March of 2007 with me making $7K!

January 12 2007-wrote another house offer that closed March 2007!

January 14, 2007-Wow-God is good-another house deal-closed in March 2007!

February 10, 2007-Found out my Ex husband wasn’t making the house payment on our home. I had moved out, but because he couldn’t qualify on his own-left myself accountable

March 2007-All of my house deals closed-my income for this month was $15K!

April 12, 2007-I wanted my first trip as a Single person to glorify God and committed to going on the Argentina Mission trip with Gateway in May 2007!

May 19, 2007-My life was completely blessed on my first Mission trip and feel so close to the hosts Jorge and Marcela Goldstein from Argentina

June 5, 2007-My home was foreclosed on today. I felt like someone had died. This was so out of my control and not fair-why me?

August 15, 2007- I realized I was stepping away from all I really have known- my Families Real Estate business to serve GOD, which at this point I thought, was to become a Chaplain. Nehemiah 9:22-10-39

September 4, 2007-talked to Gateway about serving in the area of Compassion and was asked-“Why don’t you interview for the Pastor position as we are looking to fill it?” We’ll duh-my obvious response was, “Eh…I don’t have a degree in being a Pastor. “ And Priscilla’s response was “There’s not one.” Book of Ecclesiastes

September 20, 2007-felt the Lord taking me in a different direction-create a Nonprofit and become a Minister to help those who are grieving begin the process if finding peace which can only be found with Jesus and reading HIS word-the Bible! It was this day-I asked the Lord to show me the name if this was HIS will. Woke up and knew the name-BLESSED ASSURANCE which is what I have always ended my testimony with singing! Romans 8:28

October 11, 2007- Time to create the Logo. While driving down Hwy 114-stuck in traffic I asked God to show me something productive I could be doing during this time. At that moment THE logo came to me-I started drawing it-actually God did-and I followed. It is Gold Cross symbolizing Jesus. Then in the middle-where Jesus’ body would be is a beautiful Pearl Silk Bow symbolizing the Gift of Life. Between the sides of the bow are Silver Bells symbolizing the Celebration of Life!

October 19, 2007-Began seeing myself in a Ministry position, which is not at all, what I thought would be my calling. 1Timothy 3:1-16, 4:1-16

October 30, 2007- I am feeling what I can imagine Jesus did while carrying the cross on the way to be crucified as it is days before I die on the cross and am reborn. Lamentations 3:1-66

Nov. 4, 2007- BAPTISED IN THE HOLY SPIRIT-Hebrews 6:1-20

Nov. 5 2007-Attended Kingdom of God Freedom class. Ezekiel 13:13-16 and Hebrews 7:12-17

Nov. 9 2007-Filed the IRS 1023 Application for Nonprofit status and attended the Attended the Beyond the Veil class-Hebrews 9:11-28

Nov. 16-17-Attended KAIROS. I AM FREE. EZEKIEL 33:1-34:31 Felt the Lord telling me I would meet a man. (Darn-I had just become whole in my ‘Singleness.”)

January 1, 2008-The Year of ‘New Beginnings!’ God began humbling me in ways I never thought would be in my path. Was living on Food Stamps and Bevevolence from my church.

March 2008-It’s time to find a job with income as all of my money had run out and no fruits were offered. Had been dating the man I met the last day of Kairos…we decided to have some space as we had committed to dating God’s way and the flesh was coming between us.

April 1, 2008- My Parents created a position with the Family business for me as Director of Business Development. ‘Why God….why?’

June 15, 2008-Joe asked me to marry Him! If you love someone let them go; if they come back…it was meant to be!

August 1, 2008- Married the man I met at Kairos at a very quiet ceremony in Souhtlake. We live in Roanoke in a small Farm House on 3 acres where we enjoy starting our day reading the One-Year Bible and ending the day with a Campfire outside. Very much like the Wild West Days!

January 15, 2009-My Husband's Ex moved next door to us...needless to say, they didn't divorce because they were best friends..oh my!

September 3, 2009- Felt led to begin the process of getting ‘new feet’ as I started to really begin trusting God for ALL. Had no idea of the MANY things in my life I needed to surrender. Read the book ‘Surrender All’ by Joni Lamb. I had foot surgery on my right foot to remove the bunion. ~How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!

October 29, 2009-Time for the right foot to get it’s makeover!


November 19, 2009-Met with the prophetic team at Gateway who confirmed so many things I was aware of but needed some sweet words from God to confirm the purpose and plan He created me for! Big Tears of much needed confirmation for me! Hab. 3:19.

...and the journey continuses...Trusting God for ALL!