Isn't funny how movies 'speak' to us? I was watching "The Cutting Edge" the other night and had a really sweet 'breakthrough.' It's about a girl whose Mom died when she was young. Mom must have been a Ice Skating Olympian and Dad wanted the little girl to continue the legacy. In the end, the girl was only doing what she thought would make her Dad happy. She became burnt out and said, 'When or loose, I just want to be your Daughter."
I am the youngest of 3 girls. Yes, my parents were hoping for a boy. My Dad is an only child and is a Jr. to His father who was very much the 'socialite' back in the day. My Dad 'hints' about stories from his childhood not being the easiest, however my Sisters and I knew him as the 'Prince!' I know my Grandparents wanted my Parents to have a boy to continue the family name, however the legacy ended when I was born. I was brought up to be very independent. Thru some Freedom counseling, I realized I didn't need anyone to help-I could run the world at the age of 5 if nothing else my life-right? I was/am Daddy's Girl-the boy he never had. From fast pitch softball to doing business deals, I am His 'minnie me.' We think totally alike and can finish each others sentences. Oddly enough, it just hit me the other night what He would tell me all my life~I could do whatever I sought out after and He would support me! He truly only wanted me to be Happy. Tears! See all my life, I've been trying to do whatever to make Him(both my Parents) happy. Work hard~makes lots of money. It was just this last September til now that I finally understand THEY want me to do whatever makes me happy and the money will come. Gosh. This is the same thing I just learned with my 'Heavenly Daddy!" He has given me so many wonderful gifts that I'm learning to appreciate-most important the gift of compassion to really love people. As I've learned to completely surrender all to Him-I have so much peace and am so happy! The knowledge that He~God~created me for His purpose and His plan in His timing is so real to me today! I am the ULTIMATE DADDY'S GIRL and Trusting God for all!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
My Deuteronomy 8 Story
Wasn't sure to post or not, but felt led to share my past in hopes for you to see God's Faithfulness on my journey. He didn't promise us a life without 'stuff' however, He did promise us~He will never leave us or forsake us!"
Years 0-39 were tough. 0-21-I had several boyfriends where like so many I was looking for love in ALL the wrong places-essentially I couldn’t figure out why I had to learn everything the hard way! At the age of 21, met my now Ex and after a month was pregnant with Brittany who is now 21. At my parent’s ‘coaching’we were married 1 month before she was born. I really married and had 2 kids-Howard and Brittany. There was obvious little trust-etc. because we were anything but ‘equally yoked.’ Long story short, Bridgett was born in 1993 and then Brooke was born in 1995. The marriage was bad. Howard and I worked opposite shifts to minimize the daycare expense. In 2003-we began working the same shift and the Marriage went downhill.
Late 2003, I picked up THE $1Million Buyer. Also-began helping 'this' client create a Real Estate Investment Trust and was negotiating some pretty big $$$ deals. You can imagine-I was ‘Bad to the Bone!’ Unfortunately the idea of all the $$$ I was scheduled to make and the people I was interacting with begin to take me down the wrong road of drinking and hanging out with the opposite sex. Ultimately the more nice things that were said to me both professionally and personally began to define me because I had not and was not hearing it at home. I have now ‘freed’ myself of the bondage that came with this. Today I know the wisdom that came with this-negotiating/ learning all the important business information is what I am now utilizing to implement the vision God has given me to carry out with Blessed Assurance.
On June 24, 2004-I spent the night in jail where I had been arrested for DWI ACROSS THE STREET FROM GATEWAY! When they say God doesn’t give you what you can’t handle-AMEN! I was served pancakes and pot pies-pretty much the worst part of being in this jail was I didn’t have anyone to talk to and I NEEDED TO HEAR THEIR STORY! It was during this awful night of complete solitude-I mean I was doing lunges to pass the time-any and everything not to let THIS get me! Finally- I was laying in the bed crying-feeling so lonely- I heard God say, “Is this what you want from life Heidi? You have the whole world available to YOU-go do it!”
2 Kings 6:1-7:20
At this point-I was spiritless. I found out THE $1 Million buyer was a fraud and I was broke, my marriage never was a marriage, had a DWI to deal with and saw ‘THE PILL BOTTLE” that could cure it all.
Well-I decided to fight-the ‘pill bottle’ wasn’t going to win! I know God created me for a purpose and it was time to start receiving JOY through Jesus Christ!
October 2004-Began spending a lot of time in the courthouse. It was one day at court for the DWI; I found the law library that educated me on writing my divorce of which I filed the petition in October 2004.
Jan. 1, 2005-I woke up and heard what I missed in jail…I misunderstood God. It wasn’t him saying YOU go do it-He was saying, “Give ME control of your life and I will SHOW you the purpose I created you for!” It was at this time, I found the One-Year Bible and began READING AND RECEIVING THE WORD. I had tried to begin reading the normal Bible and have what so many considered a ‘quiet time’ and because I was such a baby in my knowledge of God and Jesus-I continued to give up. I honestly believe THIS Bible is essential for new believers because it’s broken down into 15minute daily readings of the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalm and Proverb. The Book of Matthew.
February 2005, I pleaded guilty to DWI. Part of my conviction included community service at Mission Arlington. I had always wanted to serve/help and in the beginning I was mad that it took me to ‘have’ to serve God of which now I only want to serve HIM!
February 21, 2005-need a job that pays. Went to work at an Apartment Community to earn an hourly income ($10.00 per hour) to begin cleaning up the mess “I” created. This was esp. tough, as it was like I went back in time-almost like crawling because this is the job I had in 1991.
March 2005-Wrote my Divorce decree without any attorney’s with only spending $300.00. I was absolutely moved to tears when I realized I pulled this off and immediately knew it was ALL God! However-divorce for me meant moving on without my Ex and 3 Daughters. I wrote the divorce giving my Ex Primary custody of the girls and taking nothing to make sure their world was as ‘unaffected’ as possible. I knew I needed to find ME and because I realized how much work needed to be done-it was best for them to live with their Dad. As I now know- no matter how hard it’s been-the Lord was sending me to ‘THE’ wilderness to focus on HIM and only HIM.
Ezekiel 20:1-49
Because of this, learning to love my Daughters in ‘Spirit’ and not in ‘Person’ is where I’ve gained the true feeling of understanding the grieving process. It is anything but normal for a Mother to be without her daughters. Today-I’m realizing my Daughters will soon be grown and the idea of them serving God in this Ministry allows this decision to become so much clearer!
February 2006-Began rebuilding-traded in the old beat up 1990 Honda my parents’ let me use and bought a 2006 Honda Accord
March 2006-a Real Estate Client from the past wanted to give me Credit on their new home purchase because I listed and sold his home for free when he went through his divorce
May 2006-took my biggest Leap of Faith so far and went back to the world of working straight commission in Real Estate with the intent of running my parents Real Estate Business when they retire
JULY 2006-Attended Catch the Vision joined Gateway Church!
October 2006-My Ex husband Howard was fired from his job and God said he would have another job and it’s YOU (me Heidi and my Family Business) who would give him this opportunity of which he is still working for today
October 16, 2006-while attending Single Mother’s-this night-Monday) Samantha Golden was holding a ‘Hearing The Holy Spirit Class.’ The enemy tried so hard to keep from this night with MS Symptoms-not sure if it’s been mentioned several doctors want to label me with Multiple Sclerosis. God won! On this night, a women with the gift of prophecy had a WORD for me:
WHEREVER I AM TODAY (WHAT I’M MOST PASSIONATE ABOUT) IS WHERE GOD WANTS ME TO USE MY PERSAUSIVE, INFLUENTIAL, and MOTIVATING GIFT IN A GOVERNMENT POSITION. HE ALSO GAVE HER THIS WORD-PROPENSITY!
December 31, 2006-had to reschedule my nail appointment to meet a friend who wanted to view a home to consider purchasing-she wrote the contract that day and it closed March of 2007 with me making $7K!
January 12 2007-wrote another house offer that closed March 2007!
January 14, 2007-Wow-God is good-another house deal-closed in March 2007!
February 10, 2007-Found out my Ex husband wasn’t making the house payment on our home. I had moved out, but because he couldn’t qualify on his own-left myself accountable
March 2007-All of my house deals closed-my income for this month was $15K!
April 12, 2007-I wanted my first trip as a Single person to glorify God and committed to going on the Argentina Mission trip with Gateway in May 2007!
May 19, 2007-My life was completely blessed on my first Mission trip and feel so close to the hosts Jorge and Marcela Goldstein from Argentina
June 5, 2007-My home was foreclosed on today. I felt like someone had died. This was so out of my control and not fair-why me?
August 15, 2007- I realized I was stepping away from all I really have known- my Families Real Estate business to serve GOD, which at this point I thought, was to become a Chaplain. Nehemiah 9:22-10-39
September 4, 2007-talked to Gateway about serving in the area of Compassion and was asked-“Why don’t you interview for the Pastor position as we are looking to fill it?” We’ll duh-my obvious response was, “Eh…I don’t have a degree in being a Pastor. “ And Priscilla’s response was “There’s not one.” Book of Ecclesiastes
September 20, 2007-felt the Lord taking me in a different direction-create a Nonprofit and become a Minister to help those who are grieving begin the process if finding peace which can only be found with Jesus and reading HIS word-the Bible! It was this day-I asked the Lord to show me the name if this was HIS will. Woke up and knew the name-BLESSED ASSURANCE which is what I have always ended my testimony with singing! Romans 8:28
October 11, 2007- Time to create the Logo. While driving down Hwy 114-stuck in traffic I asked God to show me something productive I could be doing during this time. At that moment THE logo came to me-I started drawing it-actually God did-and I followed. It is Gold Cross symbolizing Jesus. Then in the middle-where Jesus’ body would be is a beautiful Pearl Silk Bow symbolizing the Gift of Life. Between the sides of the bow are Silver Bells symbolizing the Celebration of Life!
October 19, 2007-Began seeing myself in a Ministry position, which is not at all, what I thought would be my calling. 1Timothy 3:1-16, 4:1-16
October 30, 2007- I am feeling what I can imagine Jesus did while carrying the cross on the way to be crucified as it is days before I die on the cross and am reborn. Lamentations 3:1-66
Nov. 4, 2007- BAPTISED IN THE HOLY SPIRIT-Hebrews 6:1-20
Nov. 5 2007-Attended Kingdom of God Freedom class. Ezekiel 13:13-16 and Hebrews 7:12-17
Nov. 9 2007-Filed the IRS 1023 Application for Nonprofit status and attended the Attended the Beyond the Veil class-Hebrews 9:11-28
Nov. 16-17-Attended KAIROS. I AM FREE. EZEKIEL 33:1-34:31 Felt the Lord telling me I would meet a man. (Darn-I had just become whole in my ‘Singleness.”)
January 1, 2008-The Year of ‘New Beginnings!’ God began humbling me in ways I never thought would be in my path. Was living on Food Stamps and Bevevolence from my church.
March 2008-It’s time to find a job with income as all of my money had run out and no fruits were offered. Had been dating the man I met the last day of Kairos…we decided to have some space as we had committed to dating God’s way and the flesh was coming between us.
April 1, 2008- My Parents created a position with the Family business for me as Director of Business Development. ‘Why God….why?’
June 15, 2008-Joe asked me to marry Him! If you love someone let them go; if they come back…it was meant to be!
August 1, 2008- Married the man I met at Kairos at a very quiet ceremony in Souhtlake. We live in Roanoke in a small Farm House on 3 acres where we enjoy starting our day reading the One-Year Bible and ending the day with a Campfire outside. Very much like the Wild West Days!
January 15, 2009-My Husband's Ex moved next door to us...needless to say, they didn't divorce because they were best friends..oh my!
September 3, 2009- Felt led to begin the process of getting ‘new feet’ as I started to really begin trusting God for ALL. Had no idea of the MANY things in my life I needed to surrender. Read the book ‘Surrender All’ by Joni Lamb. I had foot surgery on my right foot to remove the bunion. ~How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!
October 29, 2009-Time for the right foot to get it’s makeover!
November 19, 2009-Met with the prophetic team at Gateway who confirmed so many things I was aware of but needed some sweet words from God to confirm the purpose and plan He created me for! Big Tears of much needed confirmation for me! Hab. 3:19.
...and the journey continuses...Trusting God for ALL!
Years 0-39 were tough. 0-21-I had several boyfriends where like so many I was looking for love in ALL the wrong places-essentially I couldn’t figure out why I had to learn everything the hard way! At the age of 21, met my now Ex and after a month was pregnant with Brittany who is now 21. At my parent’s ‘coaching’we were married 1 month before she was born. I really married and had 2 kids-Howard and Brittany. There was obvious little trust-etc. because we were anything but ‘equally yoked.’ Long story short, Bridgett was born in 1993 and then Brooke was born in 1995. The marriage was bad. Howard and I worked opposite shifts to minimize the daycare expense. In 2003-we began working the same shift and the Marriage went downhill.
Late 2003, I picked up THE $1Million Buyer. Also-began helping 'this' client create a Real Estate Investment Trust and was negotiating some pretty big $$$ deals. You can imagine-I was ‘Bad to the Bone!’ Unfortunately the idea of all the $$$ I was scheduled to make and the people I was interacting with begin to take me down the wrong road of drinking and hanging out with the opposite sex. Ultimately the more nice things that were said to me both professionally and personally began to define me because I had not and was not hearing it at home. I have now ‘freed’ myself of the bondage that came with this. Today I know the wisdom that came with this-negotiating/ learning all the important business information is what I am now utilizing to implement the vision God has given me to carry out with Blessed Assurance.
On June 24, 2004-I spent the night in jail where I had been arrested for DWI ACROSS THE STREET FROM GATEWAY! When they say God doesn’t give you what you can’t handle-AMEN! I was served pancakes and pot pies-pretty much the worst part of being in this jail was I didn’t have anyone to talk to and I NEEDED TO HEAR THEIR STORY! It was during this awful night of complete solitude-I mean I was doing lunges to pass the time-any and everything not to let THIS get me! Finally- I was laying in the bed crying-feeling so lonely- I heard God say, “Is this what you want from life Heidi? You have the whole world available to YOU-go do it!”
2 Kings 6:1-7:20
At this point-I was spiritless. I found out THE $1 Million buyer was a fraud and I was broke, my marriage never was a marriage, had a DWI to deal with and saw ‘THE PILL BOTTLE” that could cure it all.
Well-I decided to fight-the ‘pill bottle’ wasn’t going to win! I know God created me for a purpose and it was time to start receiving JOY through Jesus Christ!
October 2004-Began spending a lot of time in the courthouse. It was one day at court for the DWI; I found the law library that educated me on writing my divorce of which I filed the petition in October 2004.
Jan. 1, 2005-I woke up and heard what I missed in jail…I misunderstood God. It wasn’t him saying YOU go do it-He was saying, “Give ME control of your life and I will SHOW you the purpose I created you for!” It was at this time, I found the One-Year Bible and began READING AND RECEIVING THE WORD. I had tried to begin reading the normal Bible and have what so many considered a ‘quiet time’ and because I was such a baby in my knowledge of God and Jesus-I continued to give up. I honestly believe THIS Bible is essential for new believers because it’s broken down into 15minute daily readings of the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalm and Proverb. The Book of Matthew.
February 2005, I pleaded guilty to DWI. Part of my conviction included community service at Mission Arlington. I had always wanted to serve/help and in the beginning I was mad that it took me to ‘have’ to serve God of which now I only want to serve HIM!
February 21, 2005-need a job that pays. Went to work at an Apartment Community to earn an hourly income ($10.00 per hour) to begin cleaning up the mess “I” created. This was esp. tough, as it was like I went back in time-almost like crawling because this is the job I had in 1991.
March 2005-Wrote my Divorce decree without any attorney’s with only spending $300.00. I was absolutely moved to tears when I realized I pulled this off and immediately knew it was ALL God! However-divorce for me meant moving on without my Ex and 3 Daughters. I wrote the divorce giving my Ex Primary custody of the girls and taking nothing to make sure their world was as ‘unaffected’ as possible. I knew I needed to find ME and because I realized how much work needed to be done-it was best for them to live with their Dad. As I now know- no matter how hard it’s been-the Lord was sending me to ‘THE’ wilderness to focus on HIM and only HIM.
Ezekiel 20:1-49
Because of this, learning to love my Daughters in ‘Spirit’ and not in ‘Person’ is where I’ve gained the true feeling of understanding the grieving process. It is anything but normal for a Mother to be without her daughters. Today-I’m realizing my Daughters will soon be grown and the idea of them serving God in this Ministry allows this decision to become so much clearer!
February 2006-Began rebuilding-traded in the old beat up 1990 Honda my parents’ let me use and bought a 2006 Honda Accord
March 2006-a Real Estate Client from the past wanted to give me Credit on their new home purchase because I listed and sold his home for free when he went through his divorce
May 2006-took my biggest Leap of Faith so far and went back to the world of working straight commission in Real Estate with the intent of running my parents Real Estate Business when they retire
JULY 2006-Attended Catch the Vision joined Gateway Church!
October 2006-My Ex husband Howard was fired from his job and God said he would have another job and it’s YOU (me Heidi and my Family Business) who would give him this opportunity of which he is still working for today
October 16, 2006-while attending Single Mother’s-this night-Monday) Samantha Golden was holding a ‘Hearing The Holy Spirit Class.’ The enemy tried so hard to keep from this night with MS Symptoms-not sure if it’s been mentioned several doctors want to label me with Multiple Sclerosis. God won! On this night, a women with the gift of prophecy had a WORD for me:
WHEREVER I AM TODAY (WHAT I’M MOST PASSIONATE ABOUT) IS WHERE GOD WANTS ME TO USE MY PERSAUSIVE, INFLUENTIAL, and MOTIVATING GIFT IN A GOVERNMENT POSITION. HE ALSO GAVE HER THIS WORD-PROPENSITY!
December 31, 2006-had to reschedule my nail appointment to meet a friend who wanted to view a home to consider purchasing-she wrote the contract that day and it closed March of 2007 with me making $7K!
January 12 2007-wrote another house offer that closed March 2007!
January 14, 2007-Wow-God is good-another house deal-closed in March 2007!
February 10, 2007-Found out my Ex husband wasn’t making the house payment on our home. I had moved out, but because he couldn’t qualify on his own-left myself accountable
March 2007-All of my house deals closed-my income for this month was $15K!
April 12, 2007-I wanted my first trip as a Single person to glorify God and committed to going on the Argentina Mission trip with Gateway in May 2007!
May 19, 2007-My life was completely blessed on my first Mission trip and feel so close to the hosts Jorge and Marcela Goldstein from Argentina
June 5, 2007-My home was foreclosed on today. I felt like someone had died. This was so out of my control and not fair-why me?
August 15, 2007- I realized I was stepping away from all I really have known- my Families Real Estate business to serve GOD, which at this point I thought, was to become a Chaplain. Nehemiah 9:22-10-39
September 4, 2007-talked to Gateway about serving in the area of Compassion and was asked-“Why don’t you interview for the Pastor position as we are looking to fill it?” We’ll duh-my obvious response was, “Eh…I don’t have a degree in being a Pastor. “ And Priscilla’s response was “There’s not one.” Book of Ecclesiastes
September 20, 2007-felt the Lord taking me in a different direction-create a Nonprofit and become a Minister to help those who are grieving begin the process if finding peace which can only be found with Jesus and reading HIS word-the Bible! It was this day-I asked the Lord to show me the name if this was HIS will. Woke up and knew the name-BLESSED ASSURANCE which is what I have always ended my testimony with singing! Romans 8:28
October 11, 2007- Time to create the Logo. While driving down Hwy 114-stuck in traffic I asked God to show me something productive I could be doing during this time. At that moment THE logo came to me-I started drawing it-actually God did-and I followed. It is Gold Cross symbolizing Jesus. Then in the middle-where Jesus’ body would be is a beautiful Pearl Silk Bow symbolizing the Gift of Life. Between the sides of the bow are Silver Bells symbolizing the Celebration of Life!
October 19, 2007-Began seeing myself in a Ministry position, which is not at all, what I thought would be my calling. 1Timothy 3:1-16, 4:1-16
October 30, 2007- I am feeling what I can imagine Jesus did while carrying the cross on the way to be crucified as it is days before I die on the cross and am reborn. Lamentations 3:1-66
Nov. 4, 2007- BAPTISED IN THE HOLY SPIRIT-Hebrews 6:1-20
Nov. 5 2007-Attended Kingdom of God Freedom class. Ezekiel 13:13-16 and Hebrews 7:12-17
Nov. 9 2007-Filed the IRS 1023 Application for Nonprofit status and attended the Attended the Beyond the Veil class-Hebrews 9:11-28
Nov. 16-17-Attended KAIROS. I AM FREE. EZEKIEL 33:1-34:31 Felt the Lord telling me I would meet a man. (Darn-I had just become whole in my ‘Singleness.”)
January 1, 2008-The Year of ‘New Beginnings!’ God began humbling me in ways I never thought would be in my path. Was living on Food Stamps and Bevevolence from my church.
March 2008-It’s time to find a job with income as all of my money had run out and no fruits were offered. Had been dating the man I met the last day of Kairos…we decided to have some space as we had committed to dating God’s way and the flesh was coming between us.
April 1, 2008- My Parents created a position with the Family business for me as Director of Business Development. ‘Why God….why?’
June 15, 2008-Joe asked me to marry Him! If you love someone let them go; if they come back…it was meant to be!
August 1, 2008- Married the man I met at Kairos at a very quiet ceremony in Souhtlake. We live in Roanoke in a small Farm House on 3 acres where we enjoy starting our day reading the One-Year Bible and ending the day with a Campfire outside. Very much like the Wild West Days!
January 15, 2009-My Husband's Ex moved next door to us...needless to say, they didn't divorce because they were best friends..oh my!
September 3, 2009- Felt led to begin the process of getting ‘new feet’ as I started to really begin trusting God for ALL. Had no idea of the MANY things in my life I needed to surrender. Read the book ‘Surrender All’ by Joni Lamb. I had foot surgery on my right foot to remove the bunion. ~How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!
October 29, 2009-Time for the right foot to get it’s makeover!
November 19, 2009-Met with the prophetic team at Gateway who confirmed so many things I was aware of but needed some sweet words from God to confirm the purpose and plan He created me for! Big Tears of much needed confirmation for me! Hab. 3:19.
...and the journey continuses...Trusting God for ALL!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Journey Begins!!!!
I’ve known since my best friend took me to church with her in 1980 that the Lord had a calling on my Life. August 15, 2006, I felt the desire to grow deeper in my relationship with God. When I was graduating from high school in 1985 to become a Flight Attendant my career test said Funeral Home Embalmer. In 1998-when we got the call my Grandfather was about to pass- the Chaplain came in the room to pray- ahhhh…I was now understanding more of my God-given gifts of yearning to help with the ‘death process.' I am a natural born Chaplain. This seems like my dream job! November 2, 2006, the ‘light’ of my life my Grandmother passed away quietly in her sleep at the age of 93. At this point, I felt very confident-God is calling me to be a Chaplain. In August 2007, I felt it was time to begin pursuing this. God gave me a vision of a Non Profit~Blessed Assurance Ministries. The vision was/is to help those suffering from any loss restore their joy. Ahhhh… NOW it’s time! Nope. God was still wanting me to continue growing,surrendering ALL to Him. It’s January 21, 2010 and I’m still waiting~seeking God for clarity. The vision is more clear today than ever! TRUSTING GOD FOR ALL!
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