Life is so amazing. I'm a grown woman, wife and mother. I guess I thought when I was a young girl that 'grown up' meant something like 'problem free' or better yet, all the battles I faced as a young girl would 'go away' when I 'grew up.'
We'll as I am reading(any praying you are too) my One Year Bible, yesterday I read and really understood the parting of the Red Sea in Exodus and am honestly 'wow'd' at God's love for us.
My heart is pure, my motives are true!
The battle I'm facing today is a battle I believe many of us face and it's the battle 'within.'
Today, for me, many would look at me and see a pretty lady who is joyful and think her life must be so perfect. She is 'remarried' to a GREAT guy and you know the Fairy Tale that goes with that!
...we'll I can say it does keep getting better and better, but I really want you to understand it is only by God's love for us!
As you've read in my earlier posts, I met my Husband at church at God's perfect timing. YES~His timing is really that perfect, however we are all silly humans and many things less than perfection come with this. The biggest 'battle' we/I face are our jobs. He's worked for the same company for the last 23 years where structure is an understatement. He works Monday-Friday and has weekends off. I on the other hand, am in the Real Estate business where flexibility is a given and weekends are somewhat expected. The good news is God has given me a wonderful amount of wisdom and has allowed me to work less-much less and continues to be faithful with financial provisions. Lately, my flexibility has allowed me to feel very bored and guilty when I think I might be having fun while he is working. Now-does he feel guilty when he is having fun on the weekend when I'm working-I don't think so. I've been feeling a HUGE desire to express some of my inner dance, performance onstage, ice skating, etc. feelings. He's not so sure about this. This week, I thought-maybe I would go ice skating during the day so he doesn't feel like he has to give in to something for me that he really doesn't want to do. This is just one of many things I think of doing during the day while he's working and unfortunately the guilt has kept me from doing any of it. Funny enough, last night he mentioned he would be attending a work 'fun' function this Thursday night. I was speechless. He was allowing himself to go have fun with work people. Not church...not couples(us)...the dreaded work people. Oh my, it was soooo hard not to get mad at him. After I sat for ALOT of minutes I told him about my battles. He was kind of like-huh? After a couple of tears, I asked for his help with this...yes to encourage me to have fun during the day while he is working. MY battles are not HIS battles. I can NOT allow his thoughts to take over what I know God's love for me has offered. Do I take advantage of this love~ABSOLUTELY NOT! Must I make sure my priorities are taken care of YES...after this, I honestly believe God's love for me is to have FUN...and yes Trusting Him for ALL!
~I 'might' attach pictures of me Ice Skating...when I go...as I WIN this Battle WITHIN!
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