In my last post, I mentioned the work God was doing in me and God's amazing grace. Odd enough, that day I had a really bad 'gut' ache deep in my stomach...hence the amount of typo's in the blog. Well-that day about 4:00, I walked outside and realized my car was gone. To many-no biggie, to me it was. God has had me in the 'wilderness' for the past 4 years. I've lived in 2/3 apartments, out of my car and have felt like I was 'just passing thru.' Knowing this, the things most important to me, stayed in my trunk. For example, my Daughter's Baby books and my other Baby-the portfolio for the vision for the ministry God gave me-Blessed Assurance. I kept thinking, the car and the stuff would show up.
Late Tuesday night, I received a phone call from a girl about 30 miles out, telling me she found a some of my Blessed Assurance business cards and a few other misc. things. After I felt the peace that she wasn't involved in taking the car, we enjoyed a conversation about God.
The sad part was I realized the reality of my car and 'my life' in it.
Thursday morning, I received a call that my car was found. I guess I thought if my car was found, the things precious to me would still be in it. Nope.
I was allowed to see my car, whom the 'ugly' people made it 'their own.' Blah.
Tearfully, I asked God why and what was I supposed to learn with this? Then it came to me, my Baby Books, etc. might be gone, but my 'babies'(Daughter's) and the Ministry are still here.
I had met with the Police dept. during the process and let them know I wasn't really 'feelin the love' from them. It seemed they weren't really doing anything to help me with the car as well as an awful amount of 'lack of communication.' At this point, I mentioned I was glad it was just my car and not anything more.
Well, Friday night things changed. My nephew died. At first, we thought it was natural causes and I was grateful we weren't going to have to deal with more 'un-compassionate' police people. Sad to say, it wasn't natural.
Anyways, I felt an amazing amount of peace. Couldn't and really haven't been able to share with many because death to most is not good.
Well-God has created something 'special' in me. I have and view death as a really 'sweet' time of true celebration. The full circle of life is absolutely precious to me. I understand that career test from High school so well.
The message is 'true surrender' to God's plan...not ours. Please hear the sweetness in my heart and know I am VERY sympathetic...remember I'm a natural born Chaplain just now discovering what that really means.
I've shared much about the vision of Blessed Assurance and most has been directed at the One Year Bible.
The part I don't think I've shared is when I first started 'hearing' from God.
It was during the death of my oldest Daughter's friend, that I met with His Family at a hotel to talk about the 'arrangements.' It was so sad that the people, workers, etc. had no idea what they were dealing with. At that point, it 'hit' me. Wouldn't it be sweet if there were something like a Bed and Breakfast for Families to stay in together while they were dealing with a time in life they probably weren't expecting. A place where all ages could begin the grieving process. Area's where Adults could congregate, coloring/media rooms for kids to play, and outdoor activities to be outdoors again during an unexpected time. To have workers love on the Family again during this time to let them know they really care. AMAZING! In the end, they would leave this 'time' here at the B&B. They would receive what you might guess is a copy of the One Year Bible to begin their new journey without this 'Loved one.' And if they would like, they could return to 'Memorialize' their 'loved one' at anytime.
During the last couple days, I've been seeing how GREAT this idea is. As many Family members are Flying in town and needing places to stay, it is my prayer they come in contact with some compassionate people who let them know they really care. I am praying to continue to see God's amazing grace in many~especially myself!
Again, if you see my Passion for God and His Love for us, I would love to meet with you to begin what He started in me 5 years ago. YES, I am asking for ALL help. Help with Faith Based Grants, Donations~any and everything you might have to offer. Yup...you know the ending...Trusting God for All.
I will finish with one of the many songs fitting for this time:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
'Amazing' Journey of True 'Grace' we've been Given
I posted this on Facebook last Sunday the 25th:
'It's been an amazing couple days watching Amazing Grace while letting go of 'chains' didn't really know I needed too while reading the book, "God and George W. Bush a Spiritual Life." MANY questions about ME found in this movie and book....and funny enough Amazing Grace is one of His (GWB) favorite songs! Will post a Blog about this 'amazing' journey of true 'grace' we've been given! Guess which Bible he reads?'
July 25 at 3:17pm
My heavens, where do I start. It's like I've started and re-started this blog and it just wasn't the right 'time.'
God is so good and the 'timing' today to share is just as perfect as the continued 'Grace' I'm learning to receive.
I've shared about the transformation process God has been doing in me. Many have asked, 'What led you to this?'
Well-much like the movie 'Amazing Grace' and George W, when I look back to 2005, I didn't find God, He found me.
Many of you who've followed this blog know my past. Forgive me as I share parts again as I pray there might be 'new eyes to see' and 'ears to hear' and might be touched to see how much Mercy and Grace are there to be had-we just need to receive it!
January 1, 2005 began with no job(worked temp. @ $10 per hr),needed to take care of the DWI I got the past summer and the time was 'now' to go forward with the Divorce Petition I had filed the previous November which meant I would be moving out of my home and leaving all I knew, esp my Daughter's.
I've been a Christian for many years....however didn't really understand Grace, Faith and Love. I have chills as I share, I heard George W. Bush read the Bible in a year and was convicted. If he can do it, I could too. Started my Bible reading and didn't/couldn't find the time to read and next thing I knew 2/3 weeks passed and I was still in Genesis. I remember thinking if there was a reading plan to follow, that would work. Found my girls Precious Moments Bible and in the back was a 'reading plan.' Tried this, again, was still not disciplined to follow. One Saturday night, was at the bookstore of my 'then' church Fellowship Grapevine and the Bible that has changed my life found ME!
Began reading, feeling so overwhelmed.
Had a job opportunity offered to me....wasn't sure about it, however I felt this amazing pat on the back, "Trust in me." So- I took the job. It was funny, again I started out making $10 an hour. Next thing I knew, the DWI was done, probation started, and by mid March my Divorce was finalized. Gosh...now time to move. Much harder than I ever expected.
I began this 'Amazing Journey' of seeking the true 'Grace' Jesus died for. At this point, my Daughters were 16, 12, and 9. Today I see God's hand in this. At that time, I promise I was 'heart broken.'
I met many people during this time who are still very close friends who met me 'then' and see me 'now' which allows me to again Thank God for His mercy and 'Grace.'
2006-I left this position and went back to the 'world' of Real Estate with the Family Business. This also meant 'straight commission.' It was this year that the Deuteronomy 8 verse reached out to me. Honestly thought my 'tests' were done and life was moving 'up!'
No-not yet. Again, staying in the word...reading pretty much every day, God was transforming me. Breaking down 'Me' to be like 'Him.'
2007 started with financial Blessings from God. This allowed me to take my 1st Mission trip which was to Argentina of which I am Blessed to still be in contact with the Couple who were the hosts. (prayng now to re-visit!)
Well-here comes the part I haven't 'blogged' about because it was too painful as I didn't understand what was happening. I started having these 'Visions' about a non-profit using the One year Bible. They started small ang got big. I was working so hard on these things. As they came to me, I wrote/did everything I felt I was supposed to do. The odd part was, it seemed every Real Estate client I worked-fizzled out. (this meant zero income for me.) By November the vision was getting really exciting and life as well.(This is when I met my Husband as well as I was Baptized in the Holy Spirit.)
The hardest part was as I was 'standing firm' on 'Faith like a mustard seed' and trusting God for what he was doing in my life...my 'nest egg' was getting smaller and smaller....doing all I thought was right...still not understanding.
I began going to/thru some much needed Freedom counseling at my new church-Gateway, I was able to 're-visit' some times in my life that had held me in bondage and really speak to some "Generational Curses' form my Family line.
What I was completely un-prepared for was my 'new spirit' was so new that it was open to some really 'rough spiritual attacks.'
2008 started with me applying for Food stamps and Medicaid for my kids....humbling...
Gosh-I felt so vulnerable. It was like I felt many in my 'inner circle'saying, 'where is God...almost as if they were 'mocking' me.' I had been doing all I knew for income-applying for any job...and God clearly didn't want that for me. Quite possibly, He wanted me to see some of the life I might be Ministering too.
By March, my relationship with 'the guy' had dwindled(again this is my Husband)
It was in April the 'big' one hit me. I remember driving down the road with my 2 youngest kids and hearing very clear: 'What would you do if you had no one here on earth...no parents, kids, etc. just me to lean on?"
My parents basically created a job as New Business Dev. for me to 'get me back to work.'
The idea of 'this' was a dream job for me...somewhat like I was the 'face and voice' of the company.
It was mid April when something really 'odd' happened to me me. Friday night I couldn't sleep. I was overcome with fear...turned into Saturday and then Sunday. I didn't sleep all weekend and couldn't eat.
What was really weird, was I felt like 'everything I knew' had been zapped. Today, I think this was what 'the world' calls a nervous breakdown...to God it is called Him 'completely breaking' His to be like Him. I went to work on Monday and looked at the computer and didn't know what to do. I was asked to work with a Real Estate client, and again, didn't know what to do. Definitely not able to be the 'voice and face' of the company. The only thing I knew to do was grab 'what I knew' my One Year Bible, but again-it was foreign.
So-you can imagine-what does the 'world' do? Medicate! Gosh. They 'assumed' all of my visions were 'thoughts of grandeur, etc'-get it? Bi-polar. Me not understanding-did what they said and took the meds. Oh my heavens...my life was over.
Guess what-yup that was true. MY LIFE WAS OVER. It was created by God for His Glory and to fulfill His Purpose and Plan.
By May 2008, I began hanging out with 'the guy' again who then became my Husband. Most of the story you know, the part I've been too embarrassed to share is how little I knew with this 'new' me. Even in the kitchen-utensils were odd. Everyday life was new. At that point, in my time alone, I pleaded with God to save me...He keeping tellin me...He already did.
In the past couple months, I shared about my daily life...today I want to share about my 'true life of Amazing Grace.'
Since I've been re-married...my life has been under attack...but God has been there every step of the way. You might think I only believe in the One Year Bible, no. What I know for sure is if you want to stay in line with God, you must be reading 'some' kind of Bible everyday to experience this 'Amazing Grace!'
It's been there for you...no matter how old you are. If you're not receiving this, please hear my 'heart' in this it-it's right there..God's word...
The book about George W. Bush offered me so many answer's to me and 'why' this Bible. He didn't only read the Bible-it was a friend of his, Dr. Tony Evans-yup the amazing Pastor from Dallas who gave this to Him. GWB says as He quotes Woodrow Wilson, "sorry for the men who do not read the Bible every day as it is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of life.'
Like me, the book speaks alot of the 'facts' of Separation of Church and State and my Passion of the Bible being a part of public schools, actually part of 'everyday' life everywhere! The truest fact of which is Freedom of Religion. Not ONE Religion. In fact, I'm Non-denomination..believing some Faith(Jesus died and rose for me) and Freedom is what our Founding Father's intended and then most important it is 'IN GOD WE TRUST!'
The movie, Amazing Grace continues to speak to me in reference to just 'how' and 'when' is the right time to pursue the vision God has given me. I feel much like Wilberforce with amount if 'knocks' I know I will receive. AS well-as the song itself,I was lost and now found..!
This past weekend, I celebrated my 2 Year Wedding Anniversary with my Husband. It was Thursday night, I spent some really sweet 'time' with him that I felt this 'new grace' in ways I've never felt. Friday- yesterday were spent celebrating what God brought together with this Union... so many 'worldly expectations put to bed....understanding more than ever the 'peace' of Honoring God for His expectations! Beautifully enough..again loving God...the topic spoken about this weekend at my church-Gateway-Southlake-was about THIS very thing! Knowing and receiving God's amazing 'gift' to us....the gift of GRACE!!!
I pray you hear my 'heart' in this, I would love to hear yours! I pray for financial Blessings in the near future for me to be the vessel God wants me to be....as you know.... Trusting God for ALL!
'It's been an amazing couple days watching Amazing Grace while letting go of 'chains' didn't really know I needed too while reading the book, "God and George W. Bush a Spiritual Life." MANY questions about ME found in this movie and book....and funny enough Amazing Grace is one of His (GWB) favorite songs! Will post a Blog about this 'amazing' journey of true 'grace' we've been given! Guess which Bible he reads?'
July 25 at 3:17pm
My heavens, where do I start. It's like I've started and re-started this blog and it just wasn't the right 'time.'
God is so good and the 'timing' today to share is just as perfect as the continued 'Grace' I'm learning to receive.
I've shared about the transformation process God has been doing in me. Many have asked, 'What led you to this?'
Well-much like the movie 'Amazing Grace' and George W, when I look back to 2005, I didn't find God, He found me.
Many of you who've followed this blog know my past. Forgive me as I share parts again as I pray there might be 'new eyes to see' and 'ears to hear' and might be touched to see how much Mercy and Grace are there to be had-we just need to receive it!
January 1, 2005 began with no job(worked temp. @ $10 per hr),needed to take care of the DWI I got the past summer and the time was 'now' to go forward with the Divorce Petition I had filed the previous November which meant I would be moving out of my home and leaving all I knew, esp my Daughter's.
I've been a Christian for many years....however didn't really understand Grace, Faith and Love. I have chills as I share, I heard George W. Bush read the Bible in a year and was convicted. If he can do it, I could too. Started my Bible reading and didn't/couldn't find the time to read and next thing I knew 2/3 weeks passed and I was still in Genesis. I remember thinking if there was a reading plan to follow, that would work. Found my girls Precious Moments Bible and in the back was a 'reading plan.' Tried this, again, was still not disciplined to follow. One Saturday night, was at the bookstore of my 'then' church Fellowship Grapevine and the Bible that has changed my life found ME!
Began reading, feeling so overwhelmed.
Had a job opportunity offered to me....wasn't sure about it, however I felt this amazing pat on the back, "Trust in me." So- I took the job. It was funny, again I started out making $10 an hour. Next thing I knew, the DWI was done, probation started, and by mid March my Divorce was finalized. Gosh...now time to move. Much harder than I ever expected.
I began this 'Amazing Journey' of seeking the true 'Grace' Jesus died for. At this point, my Daughters were 16, 12, and 9. Today I see God's hand in this. At that time, I promise I was 'heart broken.'
I met many people during this time who are still very close friends who met me 'then' and see me 'now' which allows me to again Thank God for His mercy and 'Grace.'
2006-I left this position and went back to the 'world' of Real Estate with the Family Business. This also meant 'straight commission.' It was this year that the Deuteronomy 8 verse reached out to me. Honestly thought my 'tests' were done and life was moving 'up!'
No-not yet. Again, staying in the word...reading pretty much every day, God was transforming me. Breaking down 'Me' to be like 'Him.'
2007 started with financial Blessings from God. This allowed me to take my 1st Mission trip which was to Argentina of which I am Blessed to still be in contact with the Couple who were the hosts. (prayng now to re-visit!)
Well-here comes the part I haven't 'blogged' about because it was too painful as I didn't understand what was happening. I started having these 'Visions' about a non-profit using the One year Bible. They started small ang got big. I was working so hard on these things. As they came to me, I wrote/did everything I felt I was supposed to do. The odd part was, it seemed every Real Estate client I worked-fizzled out. (this meant zero income for me.) By November the vision was getting really exciting and life as well.(This is when I met my Husband as well as I was Baptized in the Holy Spirit.)
The hardest part was as I was 'standing firm' on 'Faith like a mustard seed' and trusting God for what he was doing in my life...my 'nest egg' was getting smaller and smaller....doing all I thought was right...still not understanding.
I began going to/thru some much needed Freedom counseling at my new church-Gateway, I was able to 're-visit' some times in my life that had held me in bondage and really speak to some "Generational Curses' form my Family line.
What I was completely un-prepared for was my 'new spirit' was so new that it was open to some really 'rough spiritual attacks.'
2008 started with me applying for Food stamps and Medicaid for my kids....humbling...
Gosh-I felt so vulnerable. It was like I felt many in my 'inner circle'saying, 'where is God...almost as if they were 'mocking' me.' I had been doing all I knew for income-applying for any job...and God clearly didn't want that for me. Quite possibly, He wanted me to see some of the life I might be Ministering too.
By March, my relationship with 'the guy' had dwindled(again this is my Husband)
It was in April the 'big' one hit me. I remember driving down the road with my 2 youngest kids and hearing very clear: 'What would you do if you had no one here on earth...no parents, kids, etc. just me to lean on?"
My parents basically created a job as New Business Dev. for me to 'get me back to work.'
The idea of 'this' was a dream job for me...somewhat like I was the 'face and voice' of the company.
It was mid April when something really 'odd' happened to me me. Friday night I couldn't sleep. I was overcome with fear...turned into Saturday and then Sunday. I didn't sleep all weekend and couldn't eat.
What was really weird, was I felt like 'everything I knew' had been zapped. Today, I think this was what 'the world' calls a nervous breakdown...to God it is called Him 'completely breaking' His to be like Him. I went to work on Monday and looked at the computer and didn't know what to do. I was asked to work with a Real Estate client, and again, didn't know what to do. Definitely not able to be the 'voice and face' of the company. The only thing I knew to do was grab 'what I knew' my One Year Bible, but again-it was foreign.
So-you can imagine-what does the 'world' do? Medicate! Gosh. They 'assumed' all of my visions were 'thoughts of grandeur, etc'-get it? Bi-polar. Me not understanding-did what they said and took the meds. Oh my heavens...my life was over.
Guess what-yup that was true. MY LIFE WAS OVER. It was created by God for His Glory and to fulfill His Purpose and Plan.
By May 2008, I began hanging out with 'the guy' again who then became my Husband. Most of the story you know, the part I've been too embarrassed to share is how little I knew with this 'new' me. Even in the kitchen-utensils were odd. Everyday life was new. At that point, in my time alone, I pleaded with God to save me...He keeping tellin me...He already did.
In the past couple months, I shared about my daily life...today I want to share about my 'true life of Amazing Grace.'
Since I've been re-married...my life has been under attack...but God has been there every step of the way. You might think I only believe in the One Year Bible, no. What I know for sure is if you want to stay in line with God, you must be reading 'some' kind of Bible everyday to experience this 'Amazing Grace!'
It's been there for you...no matter how old you are. If you're not receiving this, please hear my 'heart' in this it-it's right there..God's word...
The book about George W. Bush offered me so many answer's to me and 'why' this Bible. He didn't only read the Bible-it was a friend of his, Dr. Tony Evans-yup the amazing Pastor from Dallas who gave this to Him. GWB says as He quotes Woodrow Wilson, "sorry for the men who do not read the Bible every day as it is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of life.'
Like me, the book speaks alot of the 'facts' of Separation of Church and State and my Passion of the Bible being a part of public schools, actually part of 'everyday' life everywhere! The truest fact of which is Freedom of Religion. Not ONE Religion. In fact, I'm Non-denomination..believing some Faith(Jesus died and rose for me) and Freedom is what our Founding Father's intended and then most important it is 'IN GOD WE TRUST!'
The movie, Amazing Grace continues to speak to me in reference to just 'how' and 'when' is the right time to pursue the vision God has given me. I feel much like Wilberforce with amount if 'knocks' I know I will receive. AS well-as the song itself,I was lost and now found..!
This past weekend, I celebrated my 2 Year Wedding Anniversary with my Husband. It was Thursday night, I spent some really sweet 'time' with him that I felt this 'new grace' in ways I've never felt. Friday- yesterday were spent celebrating what God brought together with this Union... so many 'worldly expectations put to bed....understanding more than ever the 'peace' of Honoring God for His expectations! Beautifully enough..again loving God...the topic spoken about this weekend at my church-Gateway-Southlake-was about THIS very thing! Knowing and receiving God's amazing 'gift' to us....the gift of GRACE!!!
I pray you hear my 'heart' in this, I would love to hear yours! I pray for financial Blessings in the near future for me to be the vessel God wants me to be....as you know.... Trusting God for ALL!
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